As women, it seems as if we have very limited choices when it comes to the fashion world these days. Every season, the newest and brightest designs come gracefully walking into our favorite stores, enticing us to buy. The problem is, many of these styles are plagued with immodesty because of the strappy tops, short shorts, plunging neck-lines, and hip-hugging jeans. We are tempted to wear a little less on our shoulders, and get a little shorter in the leg area because of the warmth of Spring and Summer beg us to bare a little more. How do we maintain our sense of propriety while enjoying the latest fashion trends?
We get creative! We improvise! We challenge these pieces by adding extra layers to create fresh, fun, and appropriate styles that make us feel comfortable. Listed below, are a few tips on sprucing up your Spring wardrobe with some easy to wear outfits created by pieces that would be considered inappropriate.
Rescuing the racerback tank and hiding cleavage
It is tempting to throw on a brightly colored tank and go, especially on those hot summer days. Tank tops have a tendency to be low cut, and they hardly conceal your bra straps, causing women to constantly be exposing their “unmentionables” and fiddling with straps to keep them in place. If you enjoy the lightweight feel of a tank, try wearing a lightweight tee, or a half-shirt underneath. By choosing to layer the tank, you can enjoy the style, and still maintain proper modesty.
Most of us wear camisoles under our clothing these days, which is an excellent modesty piece, but the camisoles can still show cleavage, for the bustier woman. If this is a problem for you, invest in some tube tops. These pieces can help the bustier woman hide unwanted cleavage. A good tube top worn under a low-cut garment hits you straight across the chest, where camisoles dip down and make a half moon shape. It sits higher on your chest as well, and offers extra support. Purchase a tube top that is a size larger than what you normally wear to accommodate the bustier gal.
*just a note, the Bermuda length shorts our model, Charlotte is wearing are really making a come back, they are the perfect length for those of us who like to wear shorts*
Strappy or tube top dresses
The biggest hit in fashion these past few years has been the long, brightly colored strappy or strapless dresses. These dresses are a wonderful addition to your wardrobe, because of their longer length. The problem though, lies with the cut at the top of the dress. They usually have spaghetti straps, halter straps, or no straps at all. Lucky for us, there are several ways to tone down the immodesty in the way these dresses are made.
Every woman should have some type of cardigan in her wardrobe. The cardigan can be worn to hide your bashful shoulders, and add a bit of warmth when sitting in cold auditoriums. The cardigan comes in many styles, fabrics, and colors. Choose a cardigan that best fits your personality and body shape. Some styles include: the slouchy cardigan, ¾ sleeve cardigan, cropped cardigan, and the wrap cardigan, just to name a few. Adding a cardigan to your strappy dress instantly covers up the exposed neckline and creates a cute, and proper style that is calming and comfy. As the weather gets hotter, ditch the cardigan and pull out a coordinating tee or half shirt to wear under the strappy dress or tube top.
Skirts and slips
For many women my age, wearing a slip has pretty much become unheard of. Some think it isn’t a necessity and choose not to wear them under their skirts or dresses. Slips are meant to hide the silhouette that is seen underneath your garment. Many women wear their skirts and dresses at the appropriate length, which should be just at or below the knee, but do not consider the fact that the fabric is a bit light and people can still see what you’ve got going on under the dress!! Please, please invest in slips, ladies! Without the proper slip, when you step into a certain light, those around you can see what kind of undies you have on *blush*! Use common sense when purchasing a slip; beige slips are the universal color to be worn underneath, and you can also wear white slips with light colors, and black slips with darker colors. Buy slips of different lengths so you can always have one available for whatever skirt or dress you may be wearing.
The plain white truth
I cannot even begin to recall how many times I have seen women walking around wearing the improper undergarments with their white tops or bottoms. I see black, white, polka dots, zebra stripes, lace, and wires poking out from underneath the shirts and pants. The only acceptable undergarment to wear under your favorite white tee, blouse, pants, skirts, or shorts is the beige/ flesh-colored bra or undies NO EXCEPTIONS! Any woman who enjoys wearing white must invest in a good, supportive, seamless bra, and likewise for your undie choices. This is the only color that does not show up under a white garment. Your tops should also fit loosely so the form of the bra, and your bust can be tastefully concealed. Go to a specialty store and get yourself properly measured for a good, supportive bra, and take the steps to care for your bra properly for longer wear. When the elastic in the straps starts to go out, get another one. When choosing underwear, make sure the elastic does not cut into your thighs or behind because this can cause unsightly, immodest panty lines. And yes, even if your dress pants fit loosely, you will still have panty lines if you are not wearing the proper underwear. Like wearing a skirt without a slip, people can tell the kind of underwear you are wearing if they do not fit properly.
Dressing modestly in an immodest world can be done, and with creativity, we can still enjoy fashion and be an example to others around us. Our modesty is first developed within us, and shines through in the clothing we choose to wear. As ladies, we should all have in our homes a full-length mirror so we can inspect our outfits before we go out. Look for seams and lines showing from our undergarments. Keep skirts and shorts at the appropriate length. If you see cleavage, you are dressed inappropriate, even if it is a little. By protecting our bodies in this way, we are protecting the sensitive eyes of our brothers in Christ, and if you are not a distraction, we can all serve the Lord as intended. Together, in one accord, in spirit and in truth.
(Special thanks to my modest model Charlotte for putting together, and showing off these cute pieces)
Article AND pictures by Ashley Hudson
Ashley Hudson is a stay-at-home-mom with three children ages 9, 5, and 3. She and her family worship at the 7th and Beech Church of Christ in Durant, Oklahoma. Her husband, Jake, is the Campus Minister for the Student Bible Center at Southeastern Oklahoma State University. Be sure to check out her blog at www.hudsonfive.wordpress.com
Welcome! We are so glad you stopped by. Come Fill Your Cup is a group of Christian ladies dedicated to equipping women for study and service. We know you are busy and that life’s hectic pace pulls you in so many directions, but you can’t truly be the woman God desires unless you take time to fill your own cup…not with spa days (though we love a good spa!) or the latest novel…but with God’s Holy Word. We want to help you with that! Our goal is to reach you in the midst of your busy day and give you encouragement, education, and fellowship as you strive to live the life God has laid before you. Our prayer is that we can help fill your cup so that you, in turn, can overflow to all those around you. So, as we like to say…come fill your cup, and let it overflow!
Wonderful article! As a 24 year old it’s a constant battle for me to find age appropriate clothing while still being modest, but by being deligent and creative (cardigans are a staple in my wardrobe) it can happen! You’ve also motivated me to buy some slips… And thank you so much for speaking to the fact that nude/beige color undergarments must be worn under white! SO many women do not know this!
I have some tops that are modest in covering up the cleavage completely, but they have spaghetti straps. Out of complete sincerity, I wonder if showing my shoulders really is a problem? Or is the fact that I’d be exposing my bra unless I’m wearing a strapless bra? Since I don’t own a strapless bra, I usually put a tank top underneath and that adds width to the spaghetti straps to hide my bra. I don’t know if it’s the brand of tank top I buy, but my straps don’t peek out.
Daniela, the biggest problem with tank tops is the fact that your bra straps can show, and cleavage tends to peek out. Women are built so beautifully, and the shoulders and collar bones are considered very sexy to many men. I personally, do not see a problem with wearing a tank top that has a wider shoulder and conceals the neck line. Others, would disagree and still say it is inappropriate.
My husband let me into the male mind by encouraging me to read “Every Man’s Battle” by Stephen Arterburn; it really opened my eyes to how men view women. It speaks of how married, Christian men still struggle with lustful thoughts at the expense of their Christian sisters and how these men can overcome the temptation. It has helped me understand what they go through, and what I can do to help them not be tempted by my actions and what I wear.
We have mentioned the Rebelution modesty survey before so I won’t go into a detailed description, but you might find what they have to say about tank tops helpful (click here).
Thank you so much for your article Ashley. I am so glad you mentioned what we need to wear underneath our clothing to be modest too. I am also so glad you mentioned that being modest is a choice that comes from our hearts and that modesty is not just a check list.
Thank you for writing this article. Your comments about slips, white shirts, and appropriate underwear choices are topics normally overlooked in articles about modesty. One clothing concern I would have mentioned is form fitting shirts. While women acknowledge the need for cleavage and straps to be hidden, few think twice about wearing shirts that show the complete outline and form of their torso. Many tank tops, camisoles, and t-shirts merely accentuate every lump, bump, and roll, and leave nothing to the imagination. Modesty isn’t just about exposed skin.
Thank you so much for this. You targeted some things I hadn’t considered before.
Very good article, and beautiful pictures. I have so much fun shopping with my 20 year old daughters, often times making lots of “layering” choices. The one time I see so many Christians lowering their standards is with banquet, or formal type dresses, even at private Christian school banquets. Also, a few, or at least one of the “underwear” companies is rather pornographic in nature and we shouldn’t be shopping there, or advertising on our sweatpants or other clothing that we shop there.
Modesty is not just being covered up. The first photo seems immodest to me–it is too tight—shows every curve! When you sit in bermuda shorts they come up and if they are too loose the teacher, preacher, etc. can see up them–men or women—if they are too tight—they reveal too much. Men and women alike should remember–your body belongs to your husband or your wife (or future husband or wife) The problem with saying we are trying to be modest is our “attitude”. We should be asking ourselves are we truly being Christ-like in the way we dress or are we seeing how far we can go and still call ourselves “modest.” We must remember God looks at our heart–our “attitude”, “motive” and “emphasis.” Since we are not promised tomorrow–maybee we should ask ourselves if this is what we want to be found wearing when Jesus returns. Or maybe that saying from a few years ago WWJD ~ I’m praying we will all dress modestly and appropriately “…as befits women making a claim to godliness.” (I Timothy 2:10)
Teresa Demory
Thank you for this article! I get so tired of hearing women defend their immodest choices by saying that they have no other choices!! We may have to get creative sometimes, but it is NEVER impossible to dress modestly!!! Also, I’ve been admiring the pretty prints of the new, long, spaghetti-strap dresses, but not buying them due to the immodest nature of the straps. With your suggestion of a cardigan or t-shirt underneath, I can now add some to my wardrobe!! Thanks for the tip!!
Very good article! I really appreciate you sharing these important facts about women’s clothing. My daughters always were taught about modesty and not wearing something that gave a hint of the intimate areas of womanhood. Now, we know that some men were bothered when women first starting showing their ankles ?, but truely, a woman can stir up a man’s thoughts so easily by wearing an inappropriate article of clothing. I am inclined to agree with Teresa, that anything too tight in a pant or shorts or skirts is very appealing to a man. The shoulders are a very intimate area for men, also. And I agree with you so much that women need to wear slips and be sure no undergarment is showing to tease a man’s view. Modesty is really so simple and there is no excuse for a Christian woman to wear inappropriate clothing. Layers are great! And capris are just as comfortable in the heat as short-shorts. ? Thank you, Ashley.
Thank you for being so specific in your article! There really is NO excuse for Christian women to dress inappropriately. Creativity is very important – also a needle & thread comes in very handy!
Also tank tops can be worn backwards to prevent cleavage. Learned this from another mom who had her daughter do this.
Good article. It did seem the picture of the long, spaghetti-strap dress, even with the cardigan seemed to reveal too much of the neck area! There are lots of very good comments why this is immodest and luring to men. Also with the low cut of this type dress, be sure to check what happens when one bends over or turns the upper body to the side. Often this allows cleaveage to show that did not previously show. Since we do not stand completely still all the time, we need to realize what happens with movement, especially those of you with small children who are climbing in and out of your laps (or grandmothers). Christian ladies, we must be very careful about our attitude, our appearance, and our actions. If we err, let’s make sure it is not on the immodest side! Our soul and the souls of those around us are much more important than being attired in the latest fashion.
Great article. Thank you!
I was really happy to see CFYC post a link to an article on modesty, as it’s a much-needed topic, especially during this time of the year and many people struggle with how to deal with it. I don’t want to be discouraging at all or come off as harsh, because being concerned about modesty is wonderful, but this article really disappointed me.
Each of the sections/pictures presented made a wonderful point about one aspect of modesty but disregarded other aspects. The tank top isn’t showing bra straps/shoulders anymore, but the outfit is tight. The dress no longer has the “strappy” problem, but the neckline is still rather low and “gappy” so would be a problem when bending over, etc. It’s wonderful to mention the need for wearing slips, but the skirt pictured just barely touches the knees when standing still and straight up and is the fluttery type so would be immodest in other positions. And no undergarments can be seen through the white shirt, but it is so short that a lot of attention would be focused on the girl’s crotch/rear end and any bending over, etc. would cause her midriff to show.
Please, please don’t take this wrong. I truly don’t point these things out to cause any problems or to harp on any one person. I would just like to very humbly encourage all of us (including myself) to open our minds and step a little further away from the “line” and more firmly into the modest side instead of turning something blatantly immodest into something that’s “mostly modest… comparatively”
I appreciate your thoughts, Julia, and think you are right on target. Many want to see how close to the world they can remain and hope they are still pleasing God. If our hearts are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, modesty will become much easier and not be a battle for us. Modesty begins in the heart!
I just wanted to say I appreicate and I have learned a lot from the article and all the comments that were made. I think growth comes from honest disscussion. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”.
Great article! Thanks for all the tips and reminders-especially to wear beige under white clothing. Looking forward to more articles to help us in our daily walk.
I really appreciate your article and your lovely examples. I also tire of people blaming the fashion industry for their lack of modesty when it is so easy to layer. All you really need are a few layering tees, tanks and cardigans in basic colors like black, white and brown to make your entire wardrobe more modest. Buying your clothing in size you actually are instead of the size you think you are makes a big difference too. A belt is a great asset too. It keeps your pants from gaping and exposing your backside. They even make invisible belts now. 😉
I love this blog and I love your courage for this article, I truly do. I love that you care enough to put it out there and allow open discussion. I love that you made a “think tank” so to speak and spark ideas on how to turn something immodest into modest…BUT….I have to say that when I saw the first picture I was extremely disappointed. Those pants are way too tight, they could physically harm that woman! You can have all your areas covered from the neck down to the ankle but if the clothing is too tight, even though no skin shows, it is still immodest in that it outlines the body hugging the frame so there is nothing literally left to the imagination. The key is to not want to spark the imagination. I know a woman who never wears shorts at any time. She wears mostly pants all the time and while her blue jeans completely cover her up (she doesn’t wear the low rise kind) they are so tight sometimes it is uncomfortable to look at. I would also say that I have heard some women say “I wouldn’t wear that (a specific garment) to church service” and I say then why wear it at any time?
Also, the dress in the second picture is pretty but the neck line is just dipped way too low. Maybe find another dress in that style with a square neckline that you can layer with something. As far as the skirt goes, It is a very lovely feminine looking skirt, but again, when she sits down it is going to ride up. You can tell by looking where it hits at the knees that it is a little too short for her height. If she sits or crosses her leg it is going to rise onto the thigh and there are only a few inches between that and a mini-skirt. { feel guilty, sorry}
I was at the mall last weekend and saw several young women wearing shirts that bared the midriff. I’ve heard that is coming back and I’ve got to say that is discouraging. Also, I know many people, even those in our congregation that wear those shirts with the built in bras and spaghetti straps and I personally believe that leaves too much flesh exposed. (I call these undershirts.) I think that it is immodest to show so much of your back and arm areas as well as the amount of nakedness from the top of your breast to your neck. We have had people wear these to service before.
I think this is a learning experience for everyone.
This was a really good article and I’m sorry that I have seemed down on your choices because that was not my intention. I appreciate the tips on slips and undergarments info! I don’t want to be discouraging in anyway and I appreciate this article so much!
Hello, Ladies!
So, with all the discussion as to whether or not the outfits are modest, we thought we’d get some thoughts on the matter from Godly men. You can hear some of their opinions and even some of their best tips for modesty on Episode 26 of CFYC Espresso! (Come Fill Your Cup’s podcast).
why are slips silky they just ride up what should a girl do…thanks Dee