
For years, I have struggled with accepting my role as a working mom. Since my kids were toddlers, I have worked outside the home in various positions, always looking for that magical idea that would get me back home. Often times, in my great desire to find something that would work, these ideas set us back instead of moving us forward. I would recite Matthew 6:33, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” In my mind though, the only thing the “all these things” could be was me being a stay at home mom and I was still waiting on God to make that happen.
In the meantime, while I was waiting for the perfect set of life circumstances to fall upon us, time continued to tick and my kids continued to get older. I would think about all of the neat stuff we could do when those circumstances hit us, but until then, I was just biding my time…waiting. And then one day, it hit me. What if this is my life? And I am missing it?
The book of Philippians seems to have the answer to anything I may ever need to know.
Philippians 4:4-7 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
When I assessed our situation, I had to ask myself some questions. If I can’t ever be a stay-at-home mom again, could I live with it? Are we doing the best that we can to make sure our kids grow up to be Christians? If this is all that our life ever is, could I be happy? When I thought these things through, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. When I realized that the answer to all of those questions was an overwhelming yes, something changed. I was no longer trying to reach that unattainable, unwritten, perfect picture of a Godly wife and mother that only existed in my head, but I could now do the best with what I had each day. My anxiety level dropped tremendously, and I felt so thankful and free. It really was a peace that I couldn’t comprehend.
Philippians 4:8-9 tells us,
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
My assessment made me realized how very, very blessed I am. I get to start each day in God’s word with my family. I get to see the beautiful example of my husband who works hard each day to serve others in hopes of reaching them with the gospel. I get to enjoy the silliness and craziness of life with my 12-year-old girl and my 9-year-old boy. I get to work at a job that I enjoy, with an abundance of time off to devote to my family. I get to enjoy the wonderful support of extended family and friends that loves us and takes wonderful care of us. I get to worship each week with a small, wonderful, core group of Christians who faithfully, sincerely, and truly follows the Lord. Wow! So much to “dwell” on!
Continuing on in Philippians 4:10-13, Paul says,
“But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
So many times, I have wondered what life would have been like if only we would have made a different decision here or there, if only we had never gotten into debt, if only we would have had enough support at preaching school, if only we’d started the Dave Ramsey plan earlier, if only we had waited to have kids, if only…But now, I wouldn’t change a thing. Looking back, I know that I wouldn’t be where I am without going through what I’ve gone through. How many lessons have I learned out of necessity? How many times has someone shared their great wisdom with me, which meant nothing until I had to gain that wisdom for myself? How many times have I cut the budget hoping that extra money would magically appear and I could be that perfect mom? It is time to stop thinking about what could have been or what could be. It is time to stop missing out on this great life that God has given to me, and to start living each day better serving Him. If I truly believe God when he says in Matthew 6:34, “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own,” then I need to start living like it.
By Heidi Sprouse
Heidi, what a wonderful article. Thank you for sharing these helpful words!
This is a great article. I’m passing it on to my daughter and nieces and friends.
Oh Heidi…. you are speaking right to my heart!! Thank you for this article!!
Thanks Heidi! Thanks for serving God and your family and friends with your life!
I thought of three questions. How do you do your schedule so that you can homeschool and work full time? Where do you children stay during the day? And is the school district ok with you working for them yet homeschooling? I met one person who had to quit their job at the public school because they would not let them do both.
What a great article!
Thanks everybody for your encouragement! Sharla, we have kind of a crazy schedule, and it does get tough at times. I am usually up pretty early and the kids get up at 6:30. We usually have a devotional all together in the mornings before I leave. My husband is able to work from home most days and the kids work pretty independently. About the time I get home, my husband leaves for his part-time job (also with the school district). While he’s gone, the kids and I get to work on taking care of the house and try to fit in some other fun stuff then too. When we decided to homeschool, both of us were employed by the school district, and we have definitely met some opposition, but for the most part, everyone has been supportive. We definitely had to consider that we may lose our jobs over it, but we decided we weren’t going to worry about it until it happened.
Such an encouragement to the moms who work. I too, spent several years working so my husband could finish school, I wished a lot of that time away wanting to be a SAHM. Then I remembered that silly quote, “bloom where your planted” and tried to make the most of it till we were able to get me back in the home full time. Sounds like you have an amazing husband and kids, and ohh so cool you all begin your day in the word as a family 🙂
Very Encouraging, Heidi. I was needing to read that. With all the stress at school, I try to leave it there and then just enjoy my family when I come home. However, it seems to follow me home sometimes in the form of grading papers, lesson plans, organizational tasks, etc….. Thank you Heidi for the encouragement!
Thank you so much for this article. It is so needful for me right now, someone who has always been a working mother. I realized early on that I can fulfill God’s role for me in the home and continue to work. So many struggle with this situation and the guilt from the financial obligations that they are under that make them work. I am sure your children are well cared for spiritually and physically because of your godly attitude. Thanks so much!
Tracy
I am so proud of you and who you are.blessings to you alway
Thank you so much. There is so many people that look down on us working moms, when I believe I am doing the best I can for my family. I do things like go out of my way to make sure my kids get to the other VBS at other local congregations, and I go over their Bible class material. Though I’ve realized that during my son’s favorite cartoon is not the best time to review material with him. I’m thinking this might be a better fit for dinner or in the car. Anyway, my point being is a mother can work and still make their children and their children’s souls a priority. Thanks again.