A Letter To My Friends & Family Who Support Gay Marriage

Let me start by saying that you know me, and I know you. You know that I am not a hateful person and that I am simply doing what I believe
to be right, and I know the same about you. The fact that we disagree on this issue does not change the fact that I love you deeply, and hopefully it does not change your love for me either. I know and understand where you are coming from, I really do. It makes absolute sense to me that you believe two adults who love each other should have the legal right to marry and spend their lives together, regardless of their sexual orientation. I understand your conviction that all committed adults should have the legal rights that come with marriage such as power of attorney, insurance benefits, etc. What I ask is that you please take the time to truly know and understand what I believe and why I believe it as well.

First of all (and most importantly) you already know that even if gay marriage is legalized in all 50 states, I will still oppose it. This might sound harsh and unbending to you, but the truth is that God’s law does not change based upon what the United States of America does or does not legalize. My first priority is my obedience to God’s law. As a Christian (one who strives to live a Christ-like life in obedience to his laws, commands, and expectations) my primary citizenship is in Heaven, and then so much as it does not conflict with God’s law I give full submission and obedience to the laws of this great nation.

I know that many have argued and denied this truth, but God’s law clearly states that homosexuality is a sin. I Corinthians 6:9 states:

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

1 Timothy 1:8-11 reads:

“Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understand this the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted.”

If these verses leave any doubt concerning God’s opinion of homosexuality Romans 1:18-32 describes exactly what God considers to be homosexual behavior and the fact that it is sinful.

Many have claimed that as a Christian I am inconsistent in this area, but in actuality, I strive very hard to make sure that I am consistent in my behaviors and my beliefs. While it may seem that I am “picking on” homosexuals while ignoring others sins, this is not the case. I oppose adultery, promiscuity, stealing, lying and gossip just as ardently as I oppose gay marriage. Homosexuality is just a more frequent topic of public discussion due to ever-increasing media exposure and legal issues concerning freedom of religion and speech in this area.

Another common statement regarding this issue is that gay marriage will not in any way harm the sanctity of heterosexual marriage; divorce has already done that. This argument has some merit, although there is an aspect of this stance that we tend to forget. In the year 1969, Governor Ronald Reagan of California signed into law the United State’s first no-fault divorce law. Within a decade, every other state had followed suit. As a result of the divorce revolution which had begun in the 1950’s, by the year 1970, the divorce rate in the United States had more than doubled.

As the no-fault divorce laws were being championed by some and adamantly opposed by others, many of the same arguments were made that we are hearing today regarding same-sex marriage. Those who were proponents of no-fault divorce maintained that it was not right or fair to expect somebody to be unhappy for the rest of their lives. Additionally, it was actually better for the children if unhappy parents divorced because living with a dissatisfied parent would scar the emotional/mental development of the children. Even the scholars and the therapists of the age vehemently supported this ideation, maintaining that it would provide unprecedented growth for women’s rights as women began to prove to themselves that they could do anything a man was capable of.

While all of these ideations sounded wonderful and enlightened and were even supported by the “experts” of the day, we now know just how wrong they were. No-fault divorce is one of the most destructive things to have ever happened to the American family. Anyone who has experienced divorce, whether as a child or as a spouse, can tell you of its devastating emotional and mental effects. We now know that children have a desperate need for a father in their lives, as evidenced by the astonishing number of those in our prison system who come from broken homes. We now know divorce leaves deep emotional scars that last a lifetime, and that many single mothers are broken and depressed from trying to do it all on their own. We now know that the legalization of no-fault divorce has begun a downward trend from which it seems there is no hope for the American family to recover.

So now my question becomes, “What about same-sex marriage?” The lines drawn and the arguments made are almost identical to those which took place in our country during the 1970’s. In hindsight, we can now see that in the name of “freedom, rights, and enlightenment” we struck a devastating blow to our families. Will we make the same mistake as the previous generation?

You see, what we oftentimes ignore is the fact that God does not give us restrictions to make us miserable or deny us happiness, but rather to protect us. Just as I will not allow my children to play in the street because I can see the danger that they cannot, God does not want us in homosexual relationships because he can see the danger that we at times cannot, just as he does not want us to lie, commit adultery, gossip or steal for the same reasons.

What we don’t like to acknowledge is that, according to the CDC, the majority of STD transmissions are through homosexual acts. Additionally, homosexuals are at a much higher risk for depression, suicide, and alcohol dependence (Collingwood). While some experts (remember their accuracy with divorce) hypothesize that these increased risks are a result of discrimination, this has not been proven. In fact, this explanation is doubtful because in recent years acceptance of homosexuality has increased exponentially, but the physical/emotional and health risks have not decreased in correlation.

I pray that, as someone I love dearly, you will take the time to honestly and prayerfully consider what I have said. When we love people we want what is best for them, and unfortunately, what is best is not always what is easiest, or what we want at the moment. Scripture plainly teaches us that homosexuality is a sin, and in our world, if we are honest, we are seeing why. It is not healthy for a child to be raised without a mother and a father, and homosexuality makes an individual much more susceptible to physical and emotional trauma. Please do not call me a hater or a homophobe because I oppose gay marriage, but understand that I hold the convictions I do because I love families and I love souls, and I would rather see those who struggle with homosexuality in Heaven for all eternity than given “equality” here and now. What about you?

http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm

http://psychcentral.com/lib/higher-risk-of-mental-health-problems-for-homosexuals/0006527

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Lacy Crowell

Lacy Crowell is the Associate Editor for Come Fill Your Cup. She and her husband, Jonathan, worship with the Garriott Road church of Christ in Enid, Oklahoma where Jonathan serves as the Youth/Family Minister. They are blessed with four precious children which Lacy has the privilege of homeschooling. Lacy has an Associate’s Degree in Biblical Studies from the Bear Valley Bible Institute, and is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Candidate. She has been published in Christian Woman Magazine, Think Magazine, Queenly Quest and KAIO Publications, and has spoken for various ladies’ days, girl’s youth rallies and camps both domestic and foreign.

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