I have five children; the youngest is 21. I have done daycare for dozens of children. So I have had the opportunity to “experiment” on multiple children. My children all have a strong love for the Lord. I have been told how lucky I am that my children turned out that way. I always respond with, “Luck had nothing to do with it.” Raising children is A LOT of hard work and allowing God to lead. Does that mean I have all of the answers? Nope. I have learned from what I happened to get right, what I worked to get right and by my mistakes. Parenting is not easy! It is not for the lazy! There is definitely more to it than just a hug and a kiss.
You MUST NOT be too weak to discipline and this will include a spanking.
First off, Webster defines discipline as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.” Isn’t that our job as Christian parents?
I am continually disturbed to hear young parents say that they don’t believe in spanking. How can a Christian parent even voice those words? Proverbs 29:15 tells us that the rod of correction imparts wisdom and Proverbs 22:15 says that folly is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Our job as parents is to teach our children wisdom and mold their character in a way that brings glory to God. This will require us at times to spank our children. Keep in mind Proverbs 23:13,14, it won’t kill them.
“When should I start giving swats?” is a question I hear frequently. I know that infants communicate their dislike of something by crying. As soon as you know that they are communicating anger, it’s time for a swat on the diaper. Mine got their first swat between six and nine months. Remember Proverbs, we want to drive those sinful characteristics out of our children. It is our job as Christian mothers. If we love them we will mold them into a godly form.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let your child tell you “No”! This is disrespectful behavior and if you will correct it when it first starts happening you will drive it away. Now remember, one of a toddlers first words is “No.” Does this present a problem for you? It shouldn’t. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let your child tell you “No.” That child needs a swat. It’s your job as a Christian parent.
Your child is not in control of you…unless you have been trained that way by the child. I can’t find that in scripture. It starts with a swat on the diaper, then a swat on the hand with a firm “No, no.” If you think that is the hard part, then you better buckle up because this is the easy part and you are just getting started.
As a parent of five, I realize that each child will need to be dealt with according to his/her personality. One of mine I could spank and spank and it would hardly phase him. (He still got a spanking, but we paired it with another form of discipline.) Another I could speak to and he would burst into tears. (He still got his fair share of spankings as well.) I had someone tell me once that I didn’t understand because I didn’t have any “strong willed” children. I just chuckled (as some of you are doing now) and told them I had five very strong children and it was my job to make sure that their “strong wills” were working to glorify God.
As our children got older, we had to spank less and less. (They had been molded.) But they still had to be disciplined. It was something different with each child. One I could take TV time away and he was severely punished. Another it could be outside time and he was upset. Also, there were times when I was so upset or so baffled by what they had done, that I would say, “I’m not sure what your punishment will be yet. I’m going to pray about it and let you know. But you will be punished.” Then I would talk with Wayne and get back to them on the same day.
Boy, could I go on and on with this topic! But let me suggest the book “The Hook: Raising Faithful Children” by Ron Carter. This book came in SO handy for me!! If you want any more specifics or any other book suggestions just send me a message. [Editor’s note: you can send a message to Tami via comefillyourcup@yahoo.com and it will be forwarded to her.]
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Welcome! We are so glad you stopped by. Come Fill Your Cup is a group of Christian ladies dedicated to equipping women for study and service. We know you are busy and that life’s hectic pace pulls you in so many directions, but you can’t truly be the woman God desires unless you take time to fill your own cup…not with spa days (though we love a good spa!) or the latest novel…but with God’s Holy Word. We want to help you with that! Our goal is to reach you in the midst of your busy day and give you encouragement, education, and fellowship as you strive to live the life God has laid before you. Our prayer is that we can help fill your cup so that you, in turn, can overflow to all those around you. So, as we like to say…come fill your cup, and let it overflow!
Great job, Tami! I thank God for you and for your willingness to teach!
This was encouraging…some days I feel like I am constantly swatting my little strong willed girl’s diaper and it gets frustrating and discouraging:) So this gave me motivitation to keep at it and she will grow out of it! Thanks!!
There were days when I felt like all I got done that day was “behind swatting”. I would cry sometimes when Wayne would come home. But…..it quickly paid off. (At least “quickly” for most of them.) Hang in there!!!!
God bless you, Tami! I was shaking my head, “yes” and and even giggling through so much of this! Children are so much happier when Momma is in control, I hope all the young mommies will listen to every word that you said and start right now. The earlier the better, but hopefully they will understand that you have the wisdom and experience to back up what you said. Besides, that…God’s Word backed you up!! 🙂
My thoughts exactly. Your words are so much like mine. :o) Children are such a blessing and the time to begin discipling is when they are in diapers. I am amazed at how parents do not want to train their children. They have been mislead to believe if you love them they will be good, godly children. So sad! Love them and discipline them and enjoy every minute you have with them! And your point on not allowing your child to tell you no is a very important one! Teach them to speak kindly and respectfully. Thank you for your encouraging words! God bless you!
Thank you for this…many days I feel that all I am doing is spanking & to know I’m not alone is encouraging. I’m beginning to see a change in my oldest (2 1/2) already & what a joy it is! God bless