I have five children; the youngest is 21. I have done daycare for dozens of children. So I have had the opportunity to “experiment” on multiple children. My children all have a strong love for the Lord. I have been told how lucky I am that my children turned out that way. I always respond with, “Luck had nothing to do with it.” Raising children is A LOT of hard work and allowing God to lead. Does that mean I have all of the answers? Nope. I have learned from what I happened to get right, what I worked to get right and by my mistakes. Parenting is not easy! It is not for the lazy! There is definitely more to it than just a hug and a kiss.
You MUST NOT be too weak to discipline and this will include a spanking.
First off, Webster defines discipline as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.” Isn’t that our job as Christian parents?
I am continually disturbed to hear young parents say that they don’t believe in spanking. How can a Christian parent even voice those words? Proverbs 29:15 tells us that the rod of correction imparts wisdom and Proverbs 22:15 says that folly is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Our job as parents is to teach our children wisdom and mold their character in a way that brings glory to God. This will require us at times to spank our children. Keep in mind Proverbs 23:13,14, it won’t kill them.
“When should I start giving swats?” is a question I hear frequently. I know that infants communicate their dislike of something by crying. As soon as you know that they are communicating anger, it’s time for a swat on the diaper. Mine got their first swat between six and nine months. Remember Proverbs, we want to drive those sinful characteristics out of our children. It is our job as Christian mothers. If we love them we will mold them into a godly form.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let your child tell you “No”! This is disrespectful behavior and if you will correct it when it first starts happening you will drive it away. Now remember, one of a toddlers first words is “No.” Does this present a problem for you? It shouldn’t. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let your child tell you “No.” That child needs a swat. It’s your job as a Christian parent.
Your child is not in control of you…unless you have been trained that way by the child. I can’t find that in scripture. It starts with a swat on the diaper, then a swat on the hand with a firm “No, no.” If you think that is the hard part, then you better buckle up because this is the easy part and you are just getting started.
As a parent of five, I realize that each child will need to be dealt with according to his/her personality. One of mine I could spank and spank and it would hardly phase him. (He still got a spanking, but we paired it with another form of discipline.) Another I could speak to and he would burst into tears. (He still got his fair share of spankings as well.) I had someone tell me once that I didn’t understand because I didn’t have any “strong willed” children. I just chuckled (as some of you are doing now) and told them I had five very strong children and it was my job to make sure that their “strong wills” were working to glorify God.
As our children got older, we had to spank less and less. (They had been molded.) But they still had to be disciplined. It was something different with each child. One I could take TV time away and he was severely punished. Another it could be outside time and he was upset. Also, there were times when I was so upset or so baffled by what they had done, that I would say, “I’m not sure what your punishment will be yet. I’m going to pray about it and let you know. But you will be punished.” Then I would talk with Wayne and get back to them on the same day.
Boy, could I go on and on with this topic! But let me suggest the book “The Hook: Raising Faithful Children” by Ron Carter. This book came in SO handy for me!! If you want any more specifics or any other book suggestions just send me a message. [Editor’s note: you can send a message to Tami via email@example.com and it will be forwarded to her.]