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If I Could Go Back 20 Years

July 8, 2013 by Tami Roberts 3 Comments

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“If you could go back 20 years, what would you tell yourself?”  That’s the question I was given.  Well….hmmm.  There is always the obvious, “You better learn to control what you eat now, because your metabolism is going to be basically non-existent when you reach 50”.  Of course, “Spend as much time as possible with your kids because part of them won’t even live in the same state as you.”

I really had to ponder this and see what I could say that would help me.  I thought of giving words of encouragement because I now have a better understanding of what a godly man I married.  20 years ago we would be coming up on our 12th anniversary and were heading into some pretty rough years for our marriage.  I would want to tell myself to hang in there and be faithful and strong.  Try to tell myself to work to see our marriage while walking in Wayne’s shoes and the responsibilities that he has. (Eph. 5:22-33)  I would want

to tell myself to remember the truth of God’s word and stay steadfast.  The whole “make wise choices” bit.  Maybe even remind myself to “hold fast without wavering”. (Heb. 10:23)

I thought about my children and what could I tell myself that would help my children on their Christian journey.  I would want to tell myself to study with them more, to make sure that they were developing their own faith.  I would want to tell myself the perfect path to take with each child.  I would want to try to do a better job of focusing on the individual personalities and needs of each child. (Prov. 22:6)   I would want to warn myself of people and places to avoid where my children were concerned. Even though my family took “bad company corrupts good morals”,  very seriously. (1 Cor. 15:33)  I probably would tell myself which ones were going to be the most like me and need more “encouragement”.

But to be honest after I mulled this over and tried to come up with exactly what I would want to tell myself I realized that if I could go back 20 years I might just mess things up.  I probably wouldn’t listen to myself anyway, I’m stubborn that way.

My marriage today is strong and such a blessing to my life.  I cannot even put into words how much I love Wayne.  “My beloved is mine and I am his.” (Song of Solomon 2:16)  If I went back and tried to warn myself I might take a different path and the path we took is what brought us to this amazing place in our marriage.  Why would I want to mess that up?  We are now truly “one flesh” and it is
Bible timebecause we battled for our marriage.  (Matt. 19:5-6; Eph. 5:31) It wasn’t just our sexual relationship that bound us together but we now think as one.  We now understand that our marriage can be used to strengthen the kingdom, not just make us “happy” while we abide on this earth.

My babies, oh, my babies!  I can’t help but think of Jesus as He looks down on Jerusalem and says, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” (Matt. 23:37)  As a Mother you want to protect your children from EVERYTHING, the “let me kiss it and make it better” attitude.  But as our children turn into adults they take on the responsibility of their own choices, their own lives.  So again, if I went back I’m afraid that I would just mess things up if I tried to save myself some grief.  I can’t go back and undo anything and when I dwell on that, Satan gets in there and tries to get me with guilt and doubt about my parenting.  Could I have done a better job?  I suppose so.  But I know that 20 years ago I really worked with my children and did all that I knew to teach them to have a relationship with God.  Wayne and I worked very hard to teach them all along the way.  (Deut. 6:4-9)  To put the Lord and His people first. (Matt. 6:33)

So, if I could go back 20 years I would give myself a big hug and a box of tissues and I would tell myself, “Keep striving!  Continue to put the Lord first and you will be blessed.”  “For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers.” (1 Tim. 4:10)  Then I would sit and play with my babies for a while, probably a good, long while.  Then I would come back to 2013 and count my many, many blessings and put my trust in God because I know that He is in control.  I would pray like David and say, “But as for me, I trust in Thee, O Lord, I say, “Thou art my God. My times are in Thy hand.” (Psalm 31:14-15)

 

 

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Tami Roberts
Tami Roberts
Tami Roberts is striving to be a shining light for the Lord.She and her husband Wayne travel around the country sharing their marriage seminar, "His Shoes, Her Shoes".Tami also uses her "extra" time to speak at different women's gatherings. She puts together the Spiritual Development Retreats for the Come Fill Your Cup website for women. Tami writes for several different websites and She and Wayne have raised five children and are enjoying six grandchildren.
Tami Roberts
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Filed Under: Encouragement Tagged With: Encouragement, Tami Roberts

About Tami Roberts

Tami Roberts is striving to be a shining light for the Lord. She and her husband Wayne travel around the country sharing their marriage seminar, "His Shoes, Her Shoes". Tami also uses her "extra" time to speak at different women's gatherings. She puts together the Spiritual Development Retreats for the Come Fill Your Cup website for women. Tami writes for several different websites and She and Wayne have raised five children and are enjoying six grandchildren.

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Comments

  1. Frances Ortiz says

    July 9, 2013 at 10:16 am

    This article brought tears to my eyes! 20 years ago we also was 12 years into our marriage and raising two boys. Some days I wish I could go back and correct many mistakes I have made. Your article has helped me to see the good blessings my family has been given. Thank you for teaching me what is more important and that is to keep the course and look forward and pray to God for guidance.

    Reply
  2. Missy Smith says

    July 17, 2013 at 9:43 am

    Thank you Tami! You are so right when you said, “I can’t go back and undo anything and when I dwell on that, Satan gets in there and tries to get me with guilt and doubt about my parenting.” I think we as wives, mothers, daughters do too much wishing we could go back and do it better. I really liked the scripture in Psalm you quoted…Thou are my God, My times are in Thy hand. I’m going to put that in my memory for those times I’m letting Satan make me guilt and doubt. I appreciate your words of wisdom!

    Reply
  3. Debbie Brown says

    July 17, 2013 at 10:36 am

    Tami,

    What a good article. I would probably want to go back 25 years, but, hold many of the same thoughts that you do….. I do not think we can spend enough time with our babies, loving, holding them, praying for them and with them, teaching them God’s ways. As older women (did I just say that?), we need to learn to gently guide young mothers in taking every advantage of time to be with their children. Miss you greatly!!

    Deb

    Reply

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Welcome to Come Fill Your Cup!

CFYC About Image Welcome! We are so glad you stopped by. Come Fill Your Cup is a group of Christian ladies dedicated to equipping women for study and service. We know you are busy and that life’s hectic pace pulls you in so many directions, but you can’t truly be the woman God desires unless you take time to fill your own cup…not with spa days (though we love a good spa!) or the latest novel…but with God’s Holy Word. We want to help you with that! Our goal is to reach you in the midst of your busy day and give you encouragement, education, and fellowship as you strive to live the life God has laid before you. Our prayer is that we can help fill your cup so that you, in turn, can overflow to all those around you. So, as we like to say…come fill your cup, and let it overflow!

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