The other day a good friend of mine was at the store with her son. As they were shopping, a lady stopped them & asked, “Aw, how old is your son?” To which my friend responded, “He’s three.” The lady then proceeded to ask, “And how long have you had him?” This question really threw my friend for a loop– what was she talking about? Then the light bulb went on. My friend is white. Her son is black. Therefore the lady at the store automatically assumed he was adopted. He really is her biological son, and it’s disturbing to think that if he had been just a little bit older he would have been able to follow that conversation. How cruel to cause a little boy to question his parentage based on skin color. (As a side-note, adoption is a wonderful thing, but more on that later.)
Sometimes I fear that as humanity, the first thing we notice will always be skin color. I pray that this has gotten better in the last several decades, but I’m afraid it will always be a problem. What bothers me the most, however, is that this is also still a problem in the church.
I have had several brethren say things to me such as, “I’m not prejudiced, BUT…” and then go right on to make a very prejudiced statement! I have seen white Christian parents furious with their daughter when they found out she was dating a black young man, even though he was also the only Christian young man her age in the area! I have seen black congregations, Hispanic congregations, and white congregations, who are equally content to keep things just as they are. I have seen black brethren who are preachers refuse to apply for jobs with white congregations. I have also seen brethren of other minorities whose first passion is to promote their culture, and second passion is to promote the cause of Christ. Sisters, this should not be the case!
Prejudice is bad enough in the world, but it is intolerable in the church! This is exactly what Paul was dealing with in Galatians 3:25-28. “But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We are all one! We are all equal! We are all the same!
I jokingly call myself an American Mutt, because my fleshly heritage is quite diverse. I am part Brittish, German, Irish, and Black Dutch predominately. Each of these are tremendously varied cultures, & that is fascinating to me. I enjoy looking into my physical heritage & the cultures each of them represent. However, my IDENTITY is in Christ! My mission is to spread the Gospel!
In Christ, nothing else matters. Ephesians 2:18-21, “For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone.” If we are Christians, our identity is not found in our heritage or the color of our skin, it is found in Christ! As Christians, we need to remember that we are not a body with a soul, we are a soul with a body (C.S. Lewis). If we do that, prejudice will no longer be an issue in the church, and we won’t even notice skin color anymore, which is exactly as God intended it.
When talking to others about this issue, people have said to me, “Well, even God didn’t want the Jews marrying other races!” This is true, and false. In both the Old and New Testament, God has set forth a very firm dividing line for his people in regards to marriage. This line, however, was not skin color or culture, as many would like to claim; God’s line on marriage is religion. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” Many have said to me that this passage doesn’t apply to marriage because marriage is not in the context. My answer to this is once again yes, and no. Is marriage specifically mentioned in the context? No. But would this passage still apply? Absolutely! A yoke is something that binds oxen together. What greater bind is there in our worldly relationships than that of marriage?
Paul makes his point even more clear in 1 Corinthians 7:39, “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” Here Paul blatantly says that a widow may only re-marry in the Lord. If this is the case for widows, who may have already raised their children, how much more would this apply to those who are just beginning to search for a mate and start their families?
The book of Ezra gives us a heartbreaking account of why God wishes his people to only marry those of the same faith. In Ezra, the people of Israel have been freed from oppression, and many had taken pagan wives. Ezra 9:14 tells us that this was a problem because of the abominations these pagans committed. It had nothing to do with skin color or race, it was lifestyle and beliefs. As the family of God, we need to make sure that we are only drawing the lines that God Himself drew, and that we are following the guidelines God has given us.
Another heart-breaking example of prejudice in the church today is seen with adoption. Through friends and family members, I have been blessed with exposure to many pregnancy crisis centers, adoption facilities, and orphanages run by the Lord’s church. What an amazing outreach! It was heartbreaking, however, to learn that the majority of these facilities adopt out as many or more babies to non-Christians than to Christians. You automatically ask, “Why?!” The answer is simple: a lot of these babies are biracial, and oftentimes members of the Lord’s church won’t adopt them. I suggest to you that our Heavenly Father would say that there is no such thing as a “biracial” baby; we are all of the same race: the human race.
Sisters, from the time our children are old enough to talk we teach them the song, “Jesus Loves the Little Children.”
Jesus loves the little children,
ALL the children of the world.
Red & yellow, black & white,
they are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.
When we teach our children this song, then say, “We don’t worship with them, they are a different color.” We are hypocrites. When we teach this song then say, “I will not adopt this baby because he is a different color,” we are hypocrites. When we sing this song, then tell our children that they cannot marry someone with a different skin color, we are hypocrites. We are drawing lines that God has not drawn (Revelation 22:18-20 makes clear the severity of adding to or taking away from the Word of God). When we look at people and see skin color, not a soul, we are hypocrites drawing lines that God has not drawn.
We are all familiar with the conflict between Jews and Gentiles in the New Testament church and the havoc it created throughout the brotherhood. We are ALL different. We have different eyes, skin color, hair color, heights, weights, cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, even family backgrounds and traditions. But sisters, we are just that– SISTERS. We are all also the same. We are all souls with a body, and the physical appearance of that body doesn’t make any difference. I encourage us all from this day forward, to put aside these differences, and celebrate the oneness we have in Christ!
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I love this article. This has been something heavy on my heart and when I read it this morning, I was sincerely blessed. Thanks for writing it.
I’ve an adopted Latino son. I was always bothered that the little children’s song didn’t include the brown ones. I didn’t want my son to feel left out of the song, so I changed it.
“Red and yellow, black, brown, white. They are precious in His sight.”
But maybe now with so many mixed race children we should change it more to:
“Red and yellow, black, brown, white. ALL are precious in His sight.”
Just sayin’
I will have to change the way I sing this song too! My baby says he’s “bown”. 🙂
My African American son also calls himself brown. He is 12 now but when he was much younger we also changed the song to
“red, brown, yellow, black and white…” We actually found a small board book with the song written this way but it has worn out and now I can’t remember the author. It was his favorite.
Our church long ago changed the words to “Any color, dark or light. They are precious in His sight.”
Thank you Lacy. Thank you for explaining that we are concerned about marrying an unbeliever, not another color. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all took off our “color glasses?” Unfortunately some the agencies have hands tied because a bio mother will only release a child if the child will be placed with a family of the same color, which leaves children needing homes, and homes wanting children. Even our secular agency had concerns about giving our daughter (blonde) to us (the Trujillo family).
Thanks for the encouragement & wise points ladies!
THANK YOU!!!!!! Great Article!!!!!
Lacy,
Loved this article! My great great grandfather was a “half-breed”. But he became chief of the Comanche nation, sheriff of Lawton, Oklahoma and I am proud to be Native American, Irish, German, Scot and who knows what else. But I am more proud and thankful to be a child of God, washed in the blood of His Son and your sister in Christ. Love you! Deb
Great article! We have adopted an African American baby. My husband,myself and 2 biological children are all white, so we always get alot of stares and looks. We confuse people. I’ve heard, through the grapevine, that people say things about me. Such as, I must have had an affair and he is the product of it, etc. I would love, for my sons sake especially, I people would see the world as God does. One race. His race of people. But it’s just not the way it is. Especially down here in the south!
But in the woman’s defense, the one who asked the question, she may have a heart for adoption herself and was just trying to connect with someone else who shares that. I’ve found tht most people are just curious, but think it’s rude to ask, and I personally don’t mind the questions. As long as they are asked tactfully. However, just as a habit of avoiding all the looks that we get, I always find myself avoiding eye contact in grocery stores, etc. 🙂
Thank you for addressing this topic. It needs to be openly discussed more and more in the church. We have adopted 2 African American children. Nearly 3 years ago our son was age 9 when a child in our church told him they couldn’t be friends anymore because her grandmother said something to the effect of ‘brown kids and white kids aren’t supposed to be friends.’ The grandmother is also a member of our church. The family denied such remarks but we belive the child was actually repeating something she had been hearing at home. It was a heartbreaking incident that has had long lasting effects. Negative effects that included our son asking if it was ok for ‘brown people’ to become Christians and attend church. He went from a child eager to serve the Lord to a child hesitant to serve and reach out in church.
Long before this, right after his adoption, friends of ours in the church we attended then told us that while they knew he would be raised right in the church hoped that their daughters would never date him because of his skin color.
Fortunately we have found way more love and acceptance than not, but sometimes the comments from predjudiced people really hurt, especially when they come from those in the church.
I happen to have an 11 year old daughter, & yes i do believe in arranged marriages. 😉 I am sorry for the heartache your precious family has endured, but I pray that encouraging people to think about these things in light of Scripture will make things better in the future.
Ladies, thank you all for sharing your personal stories & the wisdom you have gleaned. I am also so encouraged by the hearts of those who have adopted! I believe that is such a tremendous service & you are to be commended for it. 🙂 I fear that sometimes we get so caught up in, “the way it’s always been” that without even realizing it we forget to ensure that our views align with Scripture. Sometimes all it takes is shedding a little light on an issue for hearts to change. Thank you all for your efforts!
Thank you for this great article. It wasn’t too long ago that I visited a recent widow who was struggling with loneliness. She was teaching me to crochet. As we sat and she watched me struggle with the yarn and the needle she bagan to talk about her sweet husband, a rock in the Lord’s church. She began to talk about some of the struggles her husband went through and how he remained faithful. You see, she is black, and so was she. She told me about segregation in the church. It broke my heart! She spoke about how she and her husband attended the local white congregation even though they weren’t welcome, because they believed the body should not be separated. We have come a long way, but hopefully, articles like yours will help us to continue to knit ourselves together into one body.
Your sister,
Tracy
Thank you for this great article. It wasn’t too long ago that I visited a recent widow who was struggling with loneliness. She was teaching me to crochet. As we sat and she watched me struggle with the yarn and the needle she bagan to talk about her sweet husband, a rock in the Lord’s church. She began to talk about some of the struggles her husband went through and how he remained faithful. You see, she is black, and so was he. She told me about segregation in the church. It broke my heart! She spoke about how she and her husband attended the local white congregation even though they weren’t welcome, because they believed the body should not be separated. We have come a long way, but hopefully, articles like yours will help us to continue to knit ourselves together into one body.
Your sister, (from just down the road- Stratford, OK)
Tracy
Lacy, thank you so much for your wonderful article. My husband (and I guess our whole family!) has recently been blessed with a new church home which is racially diverse, and thrilled to be so! So often, I hear people from all the different cultures lament how segregated the Lord’s church is in some places, and how beautiful it is to come to a place where we are all just one big, happy family!
Keep up the good work sister, and thank you again for your thoughtful and timely words!
Thank you for such a Biblical, loving, excellent, timely, needed and well written article sister! I shared to my facebook page and hope many will read!
Love,
Debbie
Good thoughts. Thank you for sharing. I am going to try to remember to add the beautiful color brown to Jesus Loves the Little Children. :o)