As summer arrives, my mind always thinks of bouquets–and weddings! (Possibly more this year because two daughters are planning their weddings, too!) What an exciting time! I think it is a great idea to pass around a notebook at the bride-to-be’s shower and let everyone share words of wisdom with her. As women who trust in the Lord, let’s use these opportunities to give godly advice. I love the beautiful wording used in Proverbs 31:11, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” In what ways can a godly woman build her husband’s trust?
To start things off, if you are preparing for marriage, and you have said “yes” to a non-Christian man, please stop and re-evaluate. How can two people with different goals reach the same destination? If your heart belongs to God, and his doesn’t, you will not be serving the same master. There will be strife in your home, guaranteed. Please make time to read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. God warns us against such bonds, and marriage is the closest bond that we make here on earth.
If you are engaged to a Christian, your new husband will want to see that your love for God is the greatest love of all–even above your love for him (Mark 12:30). He should know that you will base your decisions on His approval first, and because you do this, you will strive to be the helpmeet that God wants you to be. Putting our love in the correct priority, God is our first love, and next in order will rightly be our husband. This may not be an issue at the start, but if children are added to the mix, your husband should still be priority over them. We are instructed to leave our father and mother and become one with him, not with our children. (Genesis 2:24) One of the best “gifts” we give our children is to love their daddy.
Let your husband see that you will use your words to build him up and not to tear him down. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4) You prayed for this man, and chose to be his, now you should honor him accordingly, just as Sarah did. (1 Peter 3:5-6) Find areas in which you can compliment him, not only to others, but to him as well.
Your husband should trust that he is the only one that your intimate love will go to. “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3a) Our husband is the only man that we should flirt with and tease in a sexual, playful way. If we find ourselves dressing or acting in a certain way around another man, then it’s time for an “about face.” Office relationships can be dangerous because of the sheer amount of time spent sitting next to someone. If you see yourself getting too close to a man at your workplace, it’s time to switch jobs. Your marriage is worth it. One thing we gave our daughters in their early teen years was a purity ring. It was to remind them to keep themselves for the husband someday. They give these to their groom on their wedding day. Maybe still wearing this purity ring after the ceremony wouldn’t be such a bad idea? A constant reminder, alongside their wedding band, to keep themselves only for their husband.
Next, your husband should see that your heart is in your home. “A wise woman builds her house.” (Proverbs 14:1) The world around will call you to do many things, but a woman in her greatest capacity will work to create a godly home. Titus 2:5 gives us more encouragement in this area also. If you are an older Christian woman, take time to encourage a young woman to be a homemaker. Let’s make our homes a peaceful place of comfort and use our time there wisely. (Proverbs 31:27)
Express to your hubby that you, Lord–willing, want to bear his children. You may think this is a “given” in a Christian marriage, but some couples choose not to have a family. Medical reasons are understandable, but choosing not to have children is not what the Scriptures teach. God told Noah and his sons to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 9:1). He certainly did not expect this one family to fill the earth! Of all the people to populate the earth, shouldn’t we, as Christians, want to bring more children into this world to train as soldiers for the Lord?
This leads right into our next objective for a godly marriage, that you will “think souls.” Not only will you train the “arrows” that God blesses you with, but your husband will see you looking for, and reaching out to those who are searching. “He who is wise wins souls.” (Proverbs 11:30) We should not be Christians in name only. Concentrate on not seeing people as neighbors, co-workers, or salesman, but as lost souls who need the saving Message. Let your door be open to inviting friends over to see how warm a Christian home can be. Who knows who your next guest may be? (Hebrews 13:2)
Let your husband see that you will be content–wherever you are, and in every circumstance. It is my opinion that many young couples expect too much, right from the start. It takes many years of working together to build a home. Be content with what you have been given. I received a wedding gift of a hand-stitched picture that simply states, “Home Sweet Home.” It has hung in every home we’ve shared, whether it was a mobile home, apartment, or a single family home. It reminds me that wherever my husband and I are together, THAT is home. “…for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11)
Finally, we will look only at the second part of our key verse, “and he will have no lack of gain,” (Proverbs 31:11b) His heart trusts in her because she helps to build their home. A couple devoted to God and each other will benefit not only their spouse, but the Kingdom as well. What a beautiful image we read of in Ephesians 5:22-33 where two people come together as one, just as Christ has only one bride. Husbands love their wives as their own flesh, and the wife respects her husband.
As those around us preach distorted messages of what makes a couple, and what makes a family, let us uphold God’s definitions. If the Lord has blessed you with a godly husband, and you have had years to grow together, take time to encourage a young wife in His ways, and in what worked for you. Be proud of what the Lord has done for you. “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26)
Robin and her husband, Randy, work with the Lord’s church in Rosemount, Minnesota. They are blessed to have 7 children and 10 grandchildren. She is ever grateful for the grace of God and His undying love.