This is from the heart of an older woman to those younger women who are wives and mothers. My hope is to encourage you and challenge you in your very important role.
I’ve titled this lesson “Their Hearts Are in Your Hands,” based on one line from a song that is 35 years old. Styx’s song “Babe” has a line in it that sobers me when I think about my husband and my daughters: “my heart is in your hands”
Do you realize the power we have? Our words. Our actions. Our moods. Our examples. We have a great influence in our family.
In this lesson, I will address you as if we were talking face to face, but please know that I am addressing myself as well.
Your husband’s heart is in your hands!
Can he trust you with his heart?
Your husband needs to know you love and respect him. One way to show this is by being grateful. Tell him how very thankful you are for all he does for you and for your family. Never ever EVER make him feel like he’s not good enough! Live within your means. If you don’t have the money to go here or eat there, live in gratitude anyway. Be proud of your husband and how he provides for you. His heart is in your hands!
Your husband needs to know that you will always be faithful to him. Never go to a book or a movie or the internet to find fulfillment. I’m sure you wouldn’t want him to go elsewhere. Make sure he knows that he’s your only superman, your only hero, your only love. His heart is in your hands!
Your husband needs to feel safe to reveal himself to you. Never tell his secrets, his weaknesses, or your “marital issues” to others. If your girlfriends are bashing their husbands or their marriages, please don’t join in. Talking about others is called gossip, and it’s wrong. It’s good to keep things where they belong. If you’re having issues with the checkbook, leave it there. If it’s the in-laws, leave it there. If it’s the bedroom, PLEASE leave it there. Remember his heart is in your hands!
Your husband needs to know you’re living for Christ, and that you’re being a godly mother. Are you practicing your Christianity throughout the week? Are you training your little boys and girls to love Jesus? Do you do your Bible class homework? Do you help your children learn their verses and Bible stories for their classes? These are all so important to your husband’s well-being. He needs to know that while he is at work, you are also at work in your role. A good man wants his family to go to heaven with him. Keep striving and growing in this area. His heart is in your hands!
Your child’s heart is in your hands!
She doesn’t even know that you have her heart in your hands – but you do. Please be careful! Use your power for good and for God. [note: I’ll be using the pronouns she and her (had to choose one or the other) – obviously this goes for boys, too.]
You’re preparing her heart to serve God and others. You’re preparing her heart to love. Show her that she is beautiful, that she is important, that she is loved. Below are some do’s and don’t’s to keep in mind when tending to her heart.
Always listen to her. She may talk about childish things and have childish concerns – she’s supposed to. Never pretend to listen while your eyes are on a screen. That’s just rude! Show her by your example how to be a good listener. Show her that her words are important and valuable to you. Her heart is in your hands!
Always “light up” when she enters a room. Really! Look up and smile at her. Every time. Let her see the love you have for her in your eyes and in your smile. You are her example, and this will teach her how to respond to the people she loves. Her heart is in your hands!
Always let her help. This is difficult sometimes, but so important. There will always be something she can do to help. You may need to be creative, but keep at it. This will allow her to take over some responsibilities as she grows up. Letting her contribute shows her that she is valuable and an important part of the family. Her heart is in your hands!
Always forgive completely. You know, the way you want to be forgiven. Clean-slate forgiven! Past mistakes should never be brought up to her again. Remember I mentioned not gossiping about your husband? The same goes for your children. Her heart is in your hands!
Never spoil her. Ever. Teach her the value of “making do” with what she has. Show her how to make things instead of buying them. Show her how to wait for things. Show her how to do without. This will aid her so much in life! She will be a better spouse, a better parent, and a better Christian later in life if she is taught to live within your means now. Gratitude is such an important virtue. Teach it early and often. Her heart is in your hands!
Finally (and most importantly), always protect her spiritual heart. Teach her God’s Word. Teach her to love God’s people. Teach her to think logically. Teach her how to study God’s Word for herself. You are preparing her to follow God on her own someday—give her all the tools she’ll need.
It won’t be long before her heart will be in His hands!
The Golden Rule
Basically, this whole lesson comes down to following the Golden Rule.
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.” Matthew 7:12a
Think how easily you could break your husband’s or your child’s heart (and spirit). Treat their hearts the way you would want them to treat your heart!
It’s true: Their hearts are in your hands!
Proverbs 26:20; Proverbs 31; Matthew 7:12; Matthew 18:21-35; Romans 12; Ephesians 5:22-24; Titus 2:2-5
By Jennifer Jensen
Jennifer Jensen lives in beautiful Colorado where she makes a happy home for her husband and two teenaged daughters. She loves to encourage the church with kind words, hugs, and loving notes. One of her favorite verses is I Thessalonians 5:14 – “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”