Let me start by saying that you know me, and I know you. You know that I am not a hateful person and that I am simply doing what I believe
to be right, and I know the same about you. The fact that we disagree on this issue does not change the fact that I love you deeply, and hopefully it does not change your love for me either. I know and understand where you are coming from, I really do. It makes absolute sense to me that you believe two adults who love each other should have the legal right to marry and spend their lives together, regardless of their sexual orientation. I understand your conviction that all committed adults should have the legal rights that come with marriage such as power of attorney, insurance benefits, etc. What I ask is that you please take the time to truly know and understand what I believe and why I believe it as well.
First of all (and most importantly) you already know that even if gay marriage is legalized in all 50 states, I will still oppose it. This might sound harsh and unbending to you, but the truth is that God’s law does not change based upon what the United States of America does or does not legalize. My first priority is my obedience to God’s law. As a Christian (one who strives to live a Christ-like life in obedience to his laws, commands, and expectations) my primary citizenship is in Heaven, and then so much as it does not conflict with God’s law I give full submission and obedience to the laws of this great nation.
I know that many have argued and denied this truth, but God’s law clearly states that homosexuality is a sin. I Corinthians 6:9 states:
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
1 Timothy 1:8-11 reads:
“Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understand this the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted.”
If these verses leave any doubt concerning God’s opinion of homosexuality Romans 1:18-32 describes exactly what God considers to be homosexual behavior and the fact that it is sinful.
Many have claimed that as a Christian I am inconsistent in this area, but in actuality, I strive very hard to make sure that I am consistent in my behaviors and my beliefs. While it may seem that I am “picking on” homosexuals while ignoring others sins, this is not the case. I oppose adultery, promiscuity, stealing, lying and gossip just as ardently as I oppose gay marriage. Homosexuality is just a more frequent topic of public discussion due to ever-increasing media exposure and legal issues concerning freedom of religion and speech in this area.
Another common statement regarding this issue is that gay marriage will not in any way harm the sanctity of heterosexual marriage; divorce has already done that. This argument has some merit, although there is an aspect of this stance that we tend to forget. In the year 1969, Governor Ronald Reagan of California signed into law the United State’s first no-fault divorce law. Within a decade, every other state had followed suit. As a result of the divorce revolution which had begun in the 1950’s, by the year 1970, the divorce rate in the United States had more than doubled.
As the no-fault divorce laws were being championed by some and adamantly opposed by others, many of the same arguments were made that we are hearing today regarding same-sex marriage. Those who were proponents of no-fault divorce maintained that it was not right or fair to expect somebody to be unhappy for the rest of their lives. Additionally, it was actually better for the children if unhappy parents divorced because living with a dissatisfied parent would scar the emotional/mental development of the children. Even the scholars and the therapists of the age vehemently supported this ideation, maintaining that it would provide unprecedented growth for women’s rights as women began to prove to themselves that they could do anything a man was capable of.
While all of these ideations sounded wonderful and enlightened and were even supported by the “experts” of the day, we now know just how wrong they were. No-fault divorce is one of the most destructive things to have ever happened to the American family. Anyone who has experienced divorce, whether as a child or as a spouse, can tell you of its devastating emotional and mental effects. We now know that children have a desperate need for a father in their lives, as evidenced by the astonishing number of those in our prison system who come from broken homes. We now know divorce leaves deep emotional scars that last a lifetime, and that many single mothers are broken and depressed from trying to do it all on their own. We now know that the legalization of no-fault divorce has begun a downward trend from which it seems there is no hope for the American family to recover.
So now my question becomes, “What about same-sex marriage?” The lines drawn and the arguments made are almost identical to those which took place in our country during the 1970’s. In hindsight, we can now see that in the name of “freedom, rights, and enlightenment” we struck a devastating blow to our families. Will we make the same mistake as the previous generation?
You see, what we oftentimes ignore is the fact that God does not give us restrictions to make us miserable or deny us happiness, but rather to protect us. Just as I will not allow my children to play in the street because I can see the danger that they cannot, God does not want us in homosexual relationships because he can see the danger that we at times cannot, just as he does not want us to lie, commit adultery, gossip or steal for the same reasons.
What we don’t like to acknowledge is that, according to the CDC, the majority of STD transmissions are through homosexual acts. Additionally, homosexuals are at a much higher risk for depression, suicide, and alcohol dependence (Collingwood). While some experts (remember their accuracy with divorce) hypothesize that these increased risks are a result of discrimination, this has not been proven. In fact, this explanation is doubtful because in recent years acceptance of homosexuality has increased exponentially, but the physical/emotional and health risks have not decreased in correlation.
I pray that, as someone I love dearly, you will take the time to honestly and prayerfully consider what I have said. When we love people we want what is best for them, and unfortunately, what is best is not always what is easiest, or what we want at the moment. Scripture plainly teaches us that homosexuality is a sin, and in our world, if we are honest, we are seeing why. It is not healthy for a child to be raised without a mother and a father, and homosexuality makes an individual much more susceptible to physical and emotional trauma. Please do not call me a hater or a homophobe because I oppose gay marriage, but understand that I hold the convictions I do because I love families and I love souls, and I would rather see those who struggle with homosexuality in Heaven for all eternity than given “equality” here and now. What about you?
http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm
http://psychcentral.com/lib/higher-risk-of-mental-health-problems-for-homosexuals/0006527
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How well worded and with love. Thank you.
Thank you for your letter as I struggle to know how to respond to those who hate me because I won’t bend and give my blessing to the homosexual marriages. As an outcast in my family..it had worsened with regard to this subject. It was beautifully written. Thank you for further insight and the scripture references. Bless you.
Very thoughtful and well-written.
Thank you for the sweet encouragement sisters, God bless!
I agree with everything you’ve said. However, I believe this is a heart issue. Telling gays that they are sinning is not the answer. I would imagine they know that deep down. As with all of us, gay and straight, we need the gospel. We can shove those verses down their throats but unless The Lord convicts and moves thier hearts to salvation nothing will change. As Christians we are called to love (as you said in the article) and interceed to the father on their behalf and believe that The Lord will draw them to himself.
Cathy I always think about Jesus and the women caught in adultery. No doubt she knew her sin, and Jesus still called her out to sin no more. I worry that our modern era has convinced us that the only way to show love is to not say the word sin. It is for that very reason Jesus hung on the cross. SIN separates us from God. We are an aroma (2Cor 2:15-16) While I would like to smell good all the time reality is we stink to the world because we are not applauding their choices. Mark 16:15-16 calls US to proclaim the good news, Jesus understood that some won’t listen and would by that be condemned.
Hello Cathy! I agree with you, “shoving verses down throats,” is never an appropriate way to approach people. We must first demonstrate a Godly lifestyle of love, & then present the truth of God’s word with love & humility. We also cannot overlook the power of prayer, both for our own hearts and attitudes and for those we are reaching out to.
Well said! I did not know about the California no-fault divorce law of 1969. This makes a very interesting comparison with today’s laws regarding gay marriage. I hope things do not turn out the same way, but I’m afraid they will.
I’m going to start following your posts! 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement Trisha, God bless!
Well said. I believe the Lord is honored when we speak the truth in love. Unfortunately it seems that we as followers of Christ stay in battles that He has said to let go of.
The truth of the game agenda is found clearly in Romans 1.
My thought is to keep our responses simple.
We ask them why they want gaya marriages to be legal and the responses are always the same…” we love each other and want our expression to be recognized and respected by others…we want equality”
ours is similar…we love God we want to show that live by obeying Him. We need to let proponents of gay marriage that their battle is with God. Then we need to do what most of the church has gotten away from and that is to pray. The next step of gay marriage is not going to be how it affects children…it’s going to be that many so called Christian churches will begin to perform the ceremonies and society will be inoculated to the truth. Satan already has the unbeliever in this issue just like in divorce or even now slowly in abortion, he wants the church to participate.
In the last days the bible is clear that evil will increase and so will good but the desperate need for revival will only come through our intimate prayer where love overflows for God and for others.
Tony, thank you for pointing out the necessity of prayer.
I agree with you, Becky. Homosexuals need the Gospel of Jesus Christ just like everyone else. We certainly do not spread the Gospel with closed mouths. While we may not know peoples’ hearts, we are still called to spread the life-saving message of Jesus Christ. We never know who would be accepting of the Gospel and act upon it. There was a young guy who was gay and claimed that he didn’t know the lifestyle he was living was wrong in the site of God. He wanted to know what he needed to do to make his life right and made the appropriate changes and was thankful that someone cared enough for his soul to tell him the truth.
Thank you for sharing Tia, praise God for an open heart & for those who spoke the truth in love.
I was just thinking yesterday that I don’t have a good response prepared when people ask me about this. Thank you for your help!
Thank you for the encouragement Laura!
Excellent, excellent article, sister! <3 Going to share all over the place!
Love,
Debbie
Thank you Debbie, I pray that it is helpful!
Very good article. My brother is gay and my parents are staunch supporters/advocates of the homosexual agenda. This has caused so much tension within our family. It’s been interesting because I can have a loving civil conversation with my brother, but not with my parents. I will share this article with them in love. Thank you for writing this.
Thanks Lori, I pray that it is a help to you, & that it is received with love in which it is intended.
This is disgusting. Biblical law has no place denying good people a basic human right. It doesn’t matter what the bible says because the issue has absolutely nothing to do with the bible, it’s about the constitution. Also, it is horrifically irresponsible to paint single mothers as “broken and depressed”. I come from a “broken” home and I have two wonderful parents who are much happier apart than together. My mom is not broken, she is an amazing rolemodel who is successful and independent, which is a way healthier example than a woman who stays in an unhappy marriage because she is dependent on a man. Woman are just as capable of providing for their families too. Divorce does not always mean absent fathers. My father was still a huge part in my life. The way you’ve described divorce is an injustice to both single mothers and single fathers. The reason for increased depression and suicide in homosexuals is because ideology like this exists. It is very irresponsible to be reporting statements that are simply untrue. You too would be depressed if you were forced to deny who you are as a person. This IS hate and homophobia (and a whole mess of ignorance), it’s just sandwiched between “nice” statements. This makes me very sad on what was otherwise a happy and amazing day in US history.
I read those parts as a generalization, not pointy directly at you. It’s great that your “broken home” is working out great, but can you honestly believe that is the case with the majority of divorces? I know people that come from true broken homes and exhibit those same traits, should we just ignore them because you are much better off? “basic human right”…. Ok, so what, now that the state has to recognize same sex marriage, its places the burden on the church. When I say church, I’m not talking about Jewish or Muslim churches, but Christian churches. So now, you are asking christian congregations to redefine what is clearly stated in the bible (presented in the article). IF you are are all for peace and happiness, why force churches to do this? If you feel that we are all hateful bigoted zealots, then go to a mosque.
In my opinion, states should stay out of the affairs of the church. Let anyone who wishes to be together be issued a civil union (gay/straight). That is equality right there. Then let those couples decide where to celebrate their unity anywhere they want (church, mosque, synagogue, beach, hotel, wal-mart), but allow religious organizations to opt out. That is the free market at work and protecting the sanctity of the church from religious prosecution.
I will never acknowledge a gay couple of having a christian marriage, since they seem so determined to have them at christian churches. I will wish the best of luck on their civil union. If that makes me hateful to some eyes… meh, I’ll get over it.
Why don’t you move on over to Afghanistan and complain? While we are trying to hold to morals and values that have been in place for thousands of years, all they are doing is teaching homosexuals how to fly. (They can’t. Go look at the pictures and videos)
Hello Cait,
The crux of our disagreement is found in the beginning of your statement: you claim that the Bible has no place & is irrelevant, but I believe that Scripture is all that matters. (As I side note, if I can do whatever seems right to me, and you can do whatever seems right to you, how can we have any laws at all? What measure is there for right and wrong?) As stated in the article, I love & support this country, however if I must choose between God’s laws and man’s, I will choose God’s laws. The reason for this is that God created the world and everything in it (Genesis chapters 1-2). He sent his son to die for our sins (John 3:16), & he will return (Mark 8:38). At that point all that will matter to us, and to him, is whether or not we lived our lives in accordance to his word (John 14:15). As for your comments concerning divorced homes, I certainly did not intend that section of the article to be a personal attack on anyone. I am glad that for you personally your parent’s divorce was not a negative experience, but this is typically not the case. Statistically speaking divorce is very harmful to children, as evidenced by the link I will include at the bottom of my comment. Additionally, I just returned from a therapists convention (only professionals, no religious affiliation whatsoever) where studies by the CDC were cited stating that parental divorce is tied to increased self-harming behavior (such as alcoholism), increased health issues, and a greater chance of earlier death. Sadly, the most helpless among us, those with no voice of their own (children) are frequently ignored when adults decide to pursue what they want above all else. http://www.children-and-divorce.com/children-divorce-statistics.html
The benefits for children having a two parent household hold true, statistically speaking, for both heterosexual and homosexual families. I don’t believe your divorce comparison holds merit in this argument. I also believe spirituality is an individual journey. The knowledge and lessons learned are for oneself; to shine your own light, not to condemn another’s lifestyle. Your truth may not be their truth. This is why we must keep religion out of government.
Hello, & thank you for taking the time to read & comment on the article. 🙂 Your thoughts are very interesting, however if we all hold to our “own” truth, what line is there? If there is no truth, how can we have any laws at all? Isn’t the very nature of a legal system to check and correct harmful behavior? I am thankful that God has given us His laws to guide our behavior so that I don’t have to depend on my own flawed, human logic to determine what is right and what is wrong. I am not personally condemning anyone, I am simply sharing what God has told us He will condemn when the time comes. Also, your comment about 2-parent homosexual households being just as emotionally healthy as 2-parent heterosexual households is very interesting. The article I linked at the bottom of my comment would suggest that it is not about the number of hands on deck, but the make-up of the family dynamic that is most important for a child’s emotional development. God created man & woman, & he created us beautifully unique. My husband and I each bring something different and special to our home. Not simply because we are two different people, but because our mental and emotional makeup is very different due to the fact that I am a woman and he is a man. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/02/14370/
My point in saying to hold to one’s own truth is that one’s truth is made up only of love. Anything outside the realm of love cannot be truth. I am definitely not saying we should live in a lawless society that allows everyone to do whatever they wish. We should be allowed the freedom to continue down our path unless our choices are threatening the livelihood of another. That’s the beautiful thing about this court decision. It says a person has the right to his or her own journey of love. It’s our job here on earth to love one another and to support one another through the joys and trials of life. It is not our job to invalidate another’s journey because we disagree with his path. As to the article you linked to, I will only say that parents being opposite genders does not guarantee a more emotionally stable home life for the child. And for this one child of gay parents, there are many who are arguing the opposite (that’s why I feel statistics are more telling.) Anyway, you seem to have your mind made up, as do I. Good luck to you on your journey through life, and I do hope it is filled with love and joy.
Hello Jilbojo,
Once again, “love” sounds great in theory, but there are a lot of problems in its application. If I am understanding, you believe that “love” is allowing people to live however they choose (as long as it does not threaten another’s livelihood, as you stated.) I believe that love is fighting for a person’s eternal salvation and not wanting them to be condemned to Hell eternally. The movement has already begun that pedophilia is just like homosexuality and based in “love”. Many people, and even various religions, believe that a husband “loves” his wife when he beats her for such uncomely behavior as burning his supper. With the passage of Obamacare many are claiming that euthanasia at a certain age is an act of “love” because that individual can “no longer be a contributing member of society.” We must have a definitive standard of right and wrong, and that standard must be the word of God. Every other standard is inconsistent, and opens people up for pain and abuse not only here and now, but eternally.
Just a couple of points. Beating someone, no matter the reason, cannot be based in love because beating someone means physically harming another. Physical harm means threatening another’s livelihood which does not equal love. Pedophilia is an adult exerting sexual power over a child who cannot give consent for sexual acts. Pedophilia is yet another act of physical harm toward another and can never be based out of love. In my opinion you are confusing love for fear. Fighting for a person’s eternal salvation because you fear they will go to hell. Fear and love are not the same thing. And ultimately we are all responsible for our own salvation, happiness, and peace.
Exactly. You are not fighting for “love,” you are fighting for what fits in your personal realm of what constitutes love. If you believe it is loving, it is OK. If you don’t believe it’s loving, it is unacceptable. I’m sure you are a wonderful person, but I don’t believe you are qualified to make that judgment on the rest of the world. The people engaged in the lifestyles that you find abhorrent are just as convinced that they are loving and OK as the homosexuals are, & they would consider you to be hateful and judgmental, just as you view my beliefs that way. Just as you cited reasons you believe the relationships I listed to be harmful, I have provided reasons that the homosexual lifestyle is harmful, and I could provide more as well. Once again, this is why it is vital to take flawed, human reasoning out of the equation & depend on the wisdom of the God who created us all in the first place, & loved us enough to die for us. There is your example of true love, Mark 14:43-16:8. & if we love him, we will do what he has said rather than following our own beliefs and desires (John 14:15).
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i guess we need to forget those people that think killing is right. Because they like it to .It fells good to them.
You missed my point. If you’d like to read my response to Lacy, you might get a better idea of what I was saying. Have a great day!
Over the years of my life I have found a tendency within myself. Whenever I am accused of a wrongdoing, I rarely react immediately. I don’t take cheap shots or use sarcasm in an argument. I believe those things leave unnecessary scars within a relationship. Instead, I carefully consider the accusation and decide whether my accuser is right or wrong. If the accusation is accurate, I don’t hesitate to apologize and do what I can to correct my actions or lack of actions. If I feel the accusation is not accurate, I do my best to decide whether it would be wise to muster the courage to return to my accuser and defend my position. Sometimes it is not wise even if I am not in the wrong. Now, I don’t say all of this to demonstrate how good I am at handling confrontations. In fact, I will be the first to admit that my reason for being this way is not as righteous (for lack of a better word) as it sounds. No, in truth, I have a very deep hatred of being wrong. Nothing feels worse to me than losing an argument. Therefore, I wait to have an argument until I have carefully collected my thoughts and evidence. Through my self-evaluation in this way, I have learned that my method, though selfish in a way, can be very beneficial to a relationship, not because I am able to correct or repremand my accusers, but because I am able to correct my own behavior when it is called out as being wrong. Let us, as Christians, do this both collectively and individually. I certainly do not agree with or condone homesexuality or any of that type of sin. However, I believe it is no worse than hypocracy, of which I am constantly guilty.
My name is Matt Farley from Canyon, Texas. Let this be MY statement to all supporters of homesexuality. I will speak for no one else. I am sorry that Christians act the way we do. I believe hypocracy is the predominant sin among Christians. There is no wonder in my mind why you dislike Christianity. Instead of judging and condemning you, we are commanded by God to love you by showing God’s love for you through us. God absolutely loves you as much as he loves us. I firmly believe that our hypocracy disgusts him. While I do not accept homesexuality to any degree, I accept that everyone, including you, is still equal in God’s eyes, and Christianity as a whole should remember that.
Let this be my statement to all Christians regarding homosexuality. Love your neighbor. That does not mean you have to agree with them. Just love them. Please, be quick to listen and slow to speak. Please, let us examine ourselves before we judge anyone else. This topic of homosexuality is so powerful right now, and it makes things so much harder on us to not come across as hypocritical. Just because we aren’t committing to same sin as others, we are no better than others. Do not compromise your beliefs, just love your neighbor. Keep it simple. When you speak to them, love them. When you work with them, love them. And any other time you have the opportunity, love them. Then, it is up to God to work in their hearts, and I am ok with entrusting that part of the process with God.
There was nothing said against the homosexual themselves but the practice of homosexuality. We as Christians do not have a dislike of those who are in sin–no matter what unrighteousness they are slaves to. Yet although we may love the person and desire the best for them we abhor their sin and that is not hypocrisy
That sounds nice. And I’m not saying this to pick on you because I, too, weigh my words before using them. “Just love them” sounds so nice. But the reality is if sin leads one to Hell, and I know a neighbor is mired in it, is it a loving thing to simply be nice, never mention it, and hope my kindness causes the topic of his sin to come up in conversation? If my neighbor’s sin is not seen by him as sin, when will my kindness and love, absent God’s words, ever help him see the need for change?
Jesus did not simply tell his disciples to go and love the world. He told them to go and make disciples. Disciples are followers. Followers are people who know what he stands for and get on board. They aren’t just people that were loved. They were people who were convicted by others of their need to repent.
None of this should be done *without* love and a right heart. Love must be the motivating factor. But love’s response is not silence and a hug. It is a sincere hope for *better* for that person, and sinless is better than sinful.
I thought this was a very caring and loving article. You instructed correctly using the Truest guidelines by GOD Almighty; HIS Holy Word/Law of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. I find nothing mean or homophobic in what you have written. I am a Christian and I believe in what GOD says MOST Emphatically; not what man or all human beings say. It is indeed up to a person what they do with their lives, but I choose to follow GOD and what he wants for me as much as I can. I am a sinner like everyone else, (but a repentful sinner, mind you), for if there was no sin, Christ would not have had to die to help bless us with the wonderful chance for salvation. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I actually approve of how your article came across with love, rather than with cruel judgmental writing. GOD Bless You!
Thank you so much for the encouragement Taffey, God bless!
Hi Lacey! I loved this article, and thank you so much for sharing it! Im beyond blessed to have studied Gods word with you while attending the Bear Valley Bible Institute and miss you! You have a beautiful family and will always be in my prayers! Keep preaching the word sister!
There is a difference between civil law and God’s morality. Neither can enforce the other. We are to pray for our rulers, and soon after Jesus’ time on earth, that included Caligula! (Donald and Hillary seems easy!)
The US government is not built on separation of church and state. No such wording as that is constitutional. The first amendment states that government is to not to interfere with religion. Religion can and has always had expression in government. In God we trust has been a printed government motto. Prayers open Congress, and are a part of inauguration ceremonies. Conscientious objection from warfare has been allowed for the history of the draft.
Homosexual union has existed for thousands of years. Governments did not fight it. But historically governments did not formally acknowledge heterosexual marriage either. The marriage license is a modern invention. Now alternate partnership license is invented.
No fault divorce did not destroy good marriages. Bad people did. The government granting a divorce doesn’t change the moral value. A marriage license does not make a good marriage, nor does any new divorce legal technique end good good ones. Government doesn’t have moral power.
I would prefer that our laws be closely aligned to Judeo-Christian revelation, but it’s our job to change people’s hearts, not to create the perfect legal system. Good people will be good lawyers, representatives, judges, and juries. A government of the people will be better with better people.