Editor’s Note: In light of her big announcement, we are going to spend the week celebrating Erynn Sprouse and everything she has done for Come Fill Your Cup in her time as our editor-in-chief. Over the past two days we have been sharing her most viewed articles, enjoy!
What you behold is what shapes whether you see beauty or not.
For the past year or so, my husband has been keeping a covenant with his eyes (Job 31:1). He determined not to set any impure thing before his eyes, especially in the realm of other women (Psalm 101:3). He has determined that his joy will be in me, the wife of his youth (Proverbs 5:18). Most of the changes to our lives have been on his end. He finds most commercials (especially for women’s products, oddly enough) fall in the “impure” category and he turns away. We haven’t been to the mall in quite a while (can you believe the scraps of material that pass for clothes? And let’s not even get started on the stores’ displays!). When he first explained this idea of a covenant with his eyes, I admit to some skepticism. Part of the goal was to see me, his wife, as the most beautiful woman in the world. That sounds like a tall order to me. Really tall order. But– and I know this sounds egotistical– I think it’s working. This morning as I sat on the bed still in my pajamas, yesterday’s mascara clumping under my eyes with a mop of hair that (as it turns out) took five minutes to detangle… he said to me, “You’re so sexy.” (Are you blushing? I was!) I couldn’t think of anything to say. I looked at myself and just said, “Ooookay.” So what does this have to do with you? A lot, or I wouldn’t be telling you this embarrassing story.
I submit to you, ladies, that perhaps we need to make a covenant with our eyes as well.
Why did I feel unworthy of his compliment? Why did I outright reject his sweet sentiment and in my shock abandon even the barest bit of politeness? Why did “thanks” not even occur to me? Because I was looking at myself through the glasses the world has built for me… and those glasses say I am anything but sexy.
I’m far from a size two. At the rate things are going, I’ll be bald before I hit 45. My laugh lines sometimes seem like laugh canyons. But do those things really matter to God? Should those things lessen the appeal I hold in my husband’s eyes? No! But I’ve had a steady diet of impure. Since I’m not at risk for lusting after the images my husband has learned to turn from, I haven’t seen a need to turn my own eyes away.
But now I do.
Those images stick in your mind just like they stick in his. And they can become your standard. They become the glasses you see the world through, the thing that shapes what your eyes see and whether they behold beauty or not. Your hips seem larger than large, your hair starts to look limp, those laugh lines no longer reflect a life filled with joy and stretch marks are “scars” instead of reminders of life grown within. Your standard becomes what the world sees and discontent is sown in your heart. But God’s standard isn’t like that.
God’s standard looks at your heart and the care you pour into your prayers every day… and He sees your beauty. God’s standard looks at your love for the widows and the extra hugs you give them… and He sees your beauty (James 1:27). God’s standard looks at the way you diligently train your children to walk in His ways… and He sees your beauty (Deuteronomy 6:7, Proverbs 22:6). God’s standard looks at your constant attention to helping teach the younger ladies… and He sees your beauty (Titus 2:3-5). God’s standard looks at your gentle, contented heart… and He sees your beauty (1 Peter 3:3-4). God’s standard looks at your feet carrying the gospel wherever you go… and He sees your beauty (Romans 10:15).
My husband has trained his eyes to see me as God would have him see me, and it is an honor to me and to God.
Now it’s my turn. I don’t want to look at others through the world’s eyes, and I don’t think God (or my husband) appreciates it when I look at myself with those eyes either.
Note: Here is a printable version of the reflections may be distorted “warning” pictured above.
More Articles in This Series:
To Die For
Self-Esteem or God-Esteem?
- Illuminations: James and Romans - June 17, 2021
- Illuminations: Galatians 4:21-31 - March 31, 2021
- Illuminations: Psalm 46 - February 18, 2021
Welcome! We are so glad you stopped by. Come Fill Your Cup is a group of Christian ladies dedicated to equipping women for study and service. We know you are busy and that life’s hectic pace pulls you in so many directions, but you can’t truly be the woman God desires unless you take time to fill your own cup…not with spa days (though we love a good spa!) or the latest novel…but with God’s Holy Word. We want to help you with that! Our goal is to reach you in the midst of your busy day and give you encouragement, education, and fellowship as you strive to live the life God has laid before you. Our prayer is that we can help fill your cup so that you, in turn, can overflow to all those around you. So, as we like to say…come fill your cup, and let it overflow!
Wonderful message.. Thank you for sharing your “personal” message. May we all strive to see ourselves and others through the eyes of God..
Love this! Thank you Erynn. This is definitely a pertinent reminder to all women. Thank you for your willingness to share your story:)
Thank you! As a mom of two teenage daughters and a special needs pre-school son, I definitely need to remember to see all of us “through God’s eyes” and to teach my children the same thing. Thank you!
Great lesson, Erynn. My NASB says, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes.” Psalm 101:3. I heard of a family that made a placque with this on it and put it above their TV as a reminder. Good advice! I think it is noble what you and your husband are doing.
This is beautiful. My husband has done the same thing for many years. I too sometimes feel embarrassed by his comments but giddy at the same time. Now that he has an iphone he takes lots of pictures of me as well. We have been married for 45 years.
We do need to remember it isnt the outward beauty that counts. God sees the heart.
Thank you for this article it was much needed for me to read! I have been married 32 years to a christian husband who also still sees me as he did on our first date when I was 19. Now that I am 52 mother of two grown sons and a daughter, grandmother of two precious grandchildren I am a little heavier in weight, grey hair, I tire a little faster. He still says I am beautiful. Thank you for teaching me to see myself thru God’s eyes and my husbands eyes.
Thank you for the reminder, Erynn! I have felt this way too often.
What a great message!! Thank you for being so open!!!
Thank you, Erynn. 🙂
Erynn,
I so needed to read this. Thanks for sharing. What a loving husband you have.
Wow! Fantastic thoughts!
Thanking God for you, Erynn, and the wisdom you’ve shared…
Hi am so blessed, encouraged and amazed by the truth in this article. I have shared it with friends and I plan to read it to my husband tonight. He is truly a man seeking God’s heart and I believe this will be a blessing to our marriage and the young daughters we are raising. Please send me your email address… I noted Bear Valley and had some questions for you.
Love you so much, Erynn! Thanking God for you!
I enjoying reading these.
Dear Erynn,
Thank you so much for sharing this powerful and humbling – but also tremnedously uplifting- insight God has given you through your husband.
Isn’t it a wonderful thing when the headship of Christ over our husbands, flows onto us through their obedieince? I pray that this will happen to many other marriages around the world through your courage to share this on line. I am reading and applying this in New Zealand, the other side of the world from where you live!
I just want you to be encouraged that God is using you to bring himself glory to brothers and sisters you may never meet until we stand together in our heavenly home.
I love you sis, and am going to post this on, or near, all the mirrors in my house (I have seven daughters).
Thank you! That is very encouraging!! 🙂
~Erynn
i had not thought of how much the world’s standards had affected the way i think of myself until i read your article!! It is an eye openier. Thank you!