A day full of people, flowers, decorations, celebration, bridesmaids, groomsmen, the groom, the bride, and love. Your wedding day. This is every girl’s dream, right? Okay, maybe not every girl’s dream, but it’s a dream most young ladies have. It’s one of mine. I have a little notebook that sits in my nightstand that I pull out at least once a month. In this notebook, I have a section where I write down qualities I want my future husband to have. Perhaps there is something similar that you do. If you’re not one to write them down, I know that you must at least think about qualities that you’re looking for in a young man.
I was recently shopping in one of my favorite stores and came across a notebook with this quote on it, “Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire.” I, being the notebook collector that I am, bought the notebook to add to my collection. After spending my Sunday afternoon with a sweet sister in Christ, I began to think more about that quote. Doesn’t that apply to us, as young ladies? Are we attracting, reflecting, becoming, and mirroring those very qualities that we expect, desire, respect, and admire in young men? I think that so often we, as young ladies, get tangled up in thinking about how “perfect” we want our future spouse to be, that we forget to look in the mirror and see if we measure up to those same qualities. While we’re looking for a future husband, our future husband is looking for a future wife. I will be sharing with you two of many qualities I have written in my notebook for my future husband, that I am choosing to work on this year for myself—a future wife. We’re going to be looking at the life of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 to relate these same qualities to us as future wives. While you’ve been praying for the man you will someday marry, you are the woman he has been praying for. Let’s look at these two qualities.
- A Faithful Christian Who Loves the Lord
This is number one on my list of qualities that I’m looking for in a young man. I want him to be a faithful Christian who loves the Lord above all else, even me. We are told to “love the Lord [our] God with all [our] heart and with all [our] soul and with all [our] strength and with all [our] mind” (Luke 10:27). While this is the first quality I look for in a young man, this is also the first quality I should possess too. I want to mirror what I admire and I admire a young man who is a Christian and loves the Lord more than anything. I need to mirror this quality of a faithful Christian. The woman in Proverbs 31 was a woman who feared the Lord. In Proverbs 31:30, we read, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Let that sink in. Outward beauty doesn’t matter. Inward beauty does. Eventually, we’re going to be old, wrinkly, white-headed ladies. If a young man only loves us for our outward beauty, we’re in trouble. Our beauty is going to fade and the only thing that’s going to matter is what’s on the inside. Are our hearts beautiful? When a young man looks at us, can he see Christ living in us? Do we love the Lord? We want our future husbands to love the Lord our God, but do we truly love our Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength?
- A Servant
I want to marry a man who selflessly and willingly gives of his time. I want to marry a man who is always looking for ways to help others physically, monetarily, emotionally, and in any other way. But, above all, I want to marry a man who serves Christ. In Matthew 25:35-40 we read that when we serve others, we are serving Christ. But, what about us? Are we serving others? Proverbs 31:20 says, “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.” We as young ladies and future wives are called to be servants. If this is a quality we desire in a future husband, this is a quality we need to reflect in our own lives. I believe one of the best ways a wife can be a servant to others is through hospitality. Of course, this is most certainly not the only way, but it is for sure an important one. We can start showing hospitality as single girls. Open up your home to the people with whom you work, worship, go to school, and are friends with. This is a great way to be a servant. Share the gospel with them and teach them of His majesty. You never know the impact you could have on someone’s life.
I hope that you have pondered these thoughts. I, myself, am working on these qualities too. We’ll never reach perfection, but we can strive to do our very best. I want to embrace my biblical womanhood and practice being the future wife that my future husband is praying for. God designed women with a beautiful role in marriage and in life. It is my prayer that we can encourage each other. I want to see you in heaven one day. This is part one of a two part mini series. I can’t wait to dig deeper into God’s word with you in part two.