Unworthy. Unaccepted. Unlovable. How often have you used these terms to describe yourself? How often have you believed someone else used these words to describe you? Women are constantly bombarded with images and ideals as to what we should be. Pinterest is full of perfect pictures presenting the perfect wife and mother doing all of these amazing crafts and meals for her family. We see pictures and posts from friends on Instagram, Facebook, etc. about all the things other women are doing with their families.
“Why can’t I be like that?” “I’ll never be that smart.” I have had these thoughts so many times. I have doubted myself for most of my life, not believing I was smart enough or talented enough or strong enough. But the truth is, most of the women I am comparing myself to are having the exact same thoughts. President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” As long as we compare ourselves to others, as long as we care what other people think of us more than what God thinks, we can never overcome believing “I’m not good enough.”
Comparing yourself to those around you is like comparing apples to horses. There is no comparison. You have no way of knowing what truly goes on in any other person’s life. You are not able to see what struggles go through their hearts and heads, what has brought them to this place at this time. Remember what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”
Women tend to be emotional creatures, and that can often make us sensitive to the opinions of others. It can often lead to worry about being “liked” by our peers. It does not matter what the world thinks. My mom always told me growing up that not every one liked Jesus, so how can I expect everyone to like me? 1 Peter 2:4-5 reminds us, “As you come to him, a living stone rejected by menbut in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ” (emphasis mine).
The truth is, the only opinion that matters is God’s, and the only comparison you should make is comparing yourself to God’s expectations. What would have happened if David had listened to what people were saying about him? What if he had cowed when his brother chided him for leaving the sheep? What if he had believed Saul when he told him “you are but a youth” (1 Samuel 17:33)? Thankfully David chose to only listen to God, to believe in God’s expectations. David chose to face the giant. He told Goliath, “This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand.” (1 Samuel 17:46), and He did. David did not care what anyone else thought of him. He knew that with God on his side, he would always be good enough.
David faced Goliath without hesitation, but we all know he was not perfect; he made mistakes. But he reminds us in Psalm 139:13-14: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” In spite of his mistakes, David said he was “fearfully and wonderfully made,” Well, so are you. God knew who you would be before you took your first breath. He knew you would not be perfect, you would make mistakes, but He also knew how you would handle those mistakes, what lessons you would learn from them and use to become a better person. My children often get upset and frustrated while doing their homework. They say, “I keep making mistakes!” or “I just can’t do anything right!” My husband and I remind them that mistakes are how we learn. It is all right to not always do everything perfectly, because if you never make mistakes, you never have an opportunity to grow, mature, and learn.
We must consistently remind ourselves that it does not matter what others think of us; it does not matter what mistakes we might make. What matters is how we handle those mistakes, what God thinks of us, and how we are using this life He has blessed us with. In Ecclesiastes 12:13, Solomon tells us “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Your godliness and virtue make you worthy. You are good enough!
By Christie Roberts
Christie and her husband Billy live in Ringling, OK with their three precious children. Christie has a B.A. in English, but is blessed to be able to stay home to care for her family. They worship with the Lone Grove church of Christ where Billy serves as a deacon. Christie enjoys writing and helping with various Bible classes as well as any other opportunities God provides.