In the first part of my series: “Dear Future Wife” (which can be read here), I listed two of the qualities I am looking for in my future husband from the list I made in my notebook. Here are some of the other qualities and characteristics I desire my future husband to have (in no particular order):
- a faithful Christian
- a servant
- talks to and about his parents with respect
- loves to laugh
- a hard worker
- honest
- humble
- compassionate
- a gentleman
- a leader
- SMILES! …even when the waves of life are crashing in
- careful in entertainment choices
- doesn’t gossip
- modest in all actions
- strives to be joyful, not just happy {happiness is an emotional rollercoaster, while joyfulness is a lifestyle}
- prayer warrior {takes it to his Father before anyone else}
- self-control
- respect for others
- studies his Bible daily
- a giving heart
- a passion in life
- cares for the elderly
- one main goal – going to heaven and taking his family and as many souls as he can with him
- love for the lost and wayward souls
- will pray with me and for me every day
- chases God and not the fleeting things of this world
- has remained pure
After days and days (even now) of going back and adding to my list, I finally sat down and read through all of my qualities/characteristics that I had thus far: “I want my future husband to be all of these things, but am I all of these things, myself? This list is going to make my search for my future husband kind of hard. He’s not perfect, and neither am I. Well, I always say that he isn’t perfect and never will be, but do I actually believe it?” Fairy tales like Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty put this distorted image of “love” in our minds that I like to call “perfect perfection.” We start to think that our future husband will be just like these princess’s “true love.” He sweeps her off her feet, and they live happily ever after, while still so madly in love. They have a perfect marriage and have perfect children, but somehow this perfect perfection seems all too perfect. You and I both know that’s not how it is in “the real world.” If I expect him to be perfect and match up to every single one of these qualities I have listed, I might as well forget it; I’m never going to find anyone. However, I can be in search of a faithful Christian man who is striving for these characteristics. There must be a happy medium. We all have things to work on in our life — I have many. We don’t want to not have a standard and just marry some guy off the street who says he loves us. What if he’s not a Christian? What if he’s abusive? These are things on the opposite side of the spectrum. So, where’s the middle? What does it look like? When I took the time to reflect on how I matched up with my list of qualities for my future husband, I stepped on my own toes in the process. So, I have made it my goal to work on having these characteristics myself. Most of them are qualities a Christian should possess anyways, as we read in Romans 12:14-18, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” While most are marks of a faithful Christian, I was amazed how much I was expecting from my future husband and yet, I didn’t possess but 5-6 of these.
I don’t know about you, but I try to remember to pray for my future husband daily. Not about him, but for him. Prayer is powerful. Then I got to thinking again; he’s probably praying for me. Am I working on becoming the future bride I will hopefully one day get the beautiful opportunity to be to him? When we put our name on the list of qualities it suddenly becomes real. We’re not perfect, and neither is he. Don’t expect perfect perfection from him or you’ll be greatly disappointed. You don’t want him to expect perfection from you, do you?
Also, don’t wait for him. It’s so easy to think, “Well, I’ve been praying for my future husband as long as I can remember, so I’ll just wait, and one day God’s going to bring him into my life.” No, no, no. If we have this mentality, we’re thinking and going about this all wrong. Does one apply to college and say, “Well, if it’s God plan for me to go college I know He’ll provide me with a full scholarship?” Of course not! We have to find scholarships and apply for them and study for the ACT to get a higher score. We don’t just wait. We have to work, while we wait.
First of all, we need to be chasing after God and thinking about where true success lies. True success to a Christian is living your life and going to heaven. And secondly, we need to be putting ourselves in situations where we will meet godly Christian men. There’s not just one young man out there that’s right for you. There’s no such thing as a “soul mate.” If that were true, what about the women whose husbands die at a younger age, and they remarry? We need to be looking for a “sole mate” instead of a “soul mate” — a young man who is wearing work boots with soles eager for heaven. Go to events and camps where young Christian men are present.
Talk to them. Don’t sit around and wait for “the right one to come along.” Put yourself in situations where you can find a Christian young man. Chase after God and get to work.
- Time for a New Perspective - October 2, 2017
- Dear Future Wife: Look for a Sole Mate - May 15, 2017
- The Mirror - March 20, 2017
Welcome! We are so glad you stopped by. Come Fill Your Cup is a group of Christian ladies dedicated to equipping women for study and service. We know you are busy and that life’s hectic pace pulls you in so many directions, but you can’t truly be the woman God desires unless you take time to fill your own cup…not with spa days (though we love a good spa!) or the latest novel…but with God’s Holy Word. We want to help you with that! Our goal is to reach you in the midst of your busy day and give you encouragement, education, and fellowship as you strive to live the life God has laid before you. Our prayer is that we can help fill your cup so that you, in turn, can overflow to all those around you. So, as we like to say…come fill your cup, and let it overflow!