The Tribe is unlike most other Widows Ministries in that we do things for others. 1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another.” We do not sit around and feel sorry for ourselves! First of all, we are our own support group. The Tribe is a group of widows at the Estes Church of Christ (13 as of this writing) which is a Ministry recognized by the elders. How did we begin? Just two widows helping a brand new widow. 

Before we were The Tribe, we were just three friends who were widowed within months. The night before my husband died, one of my friends brought supper to my house. The next morning, the other friend appeared at my door ready to do whatever I needed. The sister who brought the meal is the one who sat with me in church the day after my husband’s funeral.

Even though my Mom, my sister from TX and her husband, and my cousins from Colorado were there. She has done this with other new widows. This takes some planning and intentionality. Twelve years later, I still remember this thoughtful gesture. Jeremiah 49:11b “And let your widows trust in Me.”

We three often did things together – including riding to church. Then, we added my hairdresser, who I had been friends with for over 25 years. Months later, when she obeyed the gospel, we were thrilled! Slowly, we have added members. Two moved  here from out of state. We range in age from 61-91. We were married from 1-68 years. Two Tribe members work full time, one works part-time. The rest do lots of volunteer work and various things such as grandmother duties. Several of us are active in the FHU Associates. Though we have differences, our shared faith and desire to serve have created strong bonds, allowing us to support one another. 

James 1:27 “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” Since we are blessed to live in twenty-first century America, none of us would consider ourselves to be ‘destitute.’ This ministry allows us to acknowledge this fact, providing support from others when we need it and a way in which we can support others. 

The first person to call The Tribe a Ministry was a new FHU faculty wife. We welcomed her family at their temporary living space soon after they arrived with assorted goodies. Then, three months later, when she had a Birthday, we sang to her and delivered balloons at her new house. Her family are now Estes members. 

Each Sunday, I like to sit on the same pew in the auditorium. Usually, at least one other sister sits with me. There have been times when as many as six Tribe members sat on our row. One of the newest Tribe members and I met because she was sitting on that row. In between class and worship, we met, exchanged information and bonded. I knew we would become good friends and we did. Two days later, she came to my house for a meal with The Tribe. Then we celebrated a Birthday at a Jackson restaurant. Soon after that, she came to my house with whole wheat sourdough starter and she gave me a lesson in bread making. One of us has a 7 passenger van, which we refer to as ‘the Tribal van.’ Four weeks in a row, we went to a Lecture Series in another town. When this lady wasn’t able to go, she let us take her van! One Tribe member is constantly showering us with gifts! She does this for every holiday and sometimes ‘just because.’ We are each other’s support group! Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

We are ever thankful to have a support group of like minded sisters. There is a Tribe group text where we share concerns and ask questions, and give thanks for answered prayers. James 5:16b “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” It is where we make plans for our next event. A few of us may attend a 90th Birthday celebration, a wedding or a baby shower, or a funeral. We have T-shirts, and if we do an activity, such as attending a movie together, we will wear them. The goal is not to give the impression that The Tribe is exclusive, rather the shirts proudly proclaim, “The Tribe – supporting each other.”

Here is a run-down of what this group does to minister to each other as well as others who may be in need: 

On most Sundays and Wednesdays, we have lunch at one Tribe member’s house. On Sunday, we each bring our own food (leftovers from home, or something that we picked up after worship). The hostess always offers drinks. On Wednesdays, someone volunteers to bring the main dish, and others bring sides and dessert. The gracious hostess provides homemade bread and pink lemonade. Sometimes, we share the leftovers with others. Perhaps with the preacher and his wife who were living in a camper while their house was being built, or a future Tribe member whose husband was sick. We have also taken food to a Tribe member who was unable to come to lunch that day. It is at these meetings when we may send a card – which all of us sign – to a bereaved person, someone who is sick or may need encouragement.

Romans 12:13 “Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.”

Once a month, our Visitation Group meets for Sunday lunch in the fellowship hall. This group consists of the Tribe and one token male, who is the son of one of our Tribe members. He does a great job of welcoming the guests and introducing them! Nearly everyone participates each month. We suggest that the ladies bring three dishes so that we will have plenty – and we always do. We make it a point to invite new members and visitors to join us. It is not unusual for a person or a family to place membership or even be baptized soon after having lunch with the Tribe. Also, we pick up cards with names of people who need a visit or a note of encouragement. 

Most months, we celebrate a Birthday. The Birthday girl selects the date and the restaurant (usually in Jackson, 15-30 minutes away). Annually, we pass around an envelope and each Tribe member contributes $20. This covers the meals and the cake which is usually homemade and donated by a Tribe member who is known as, “The Cake Queen!”

Once a month, most of us attend the Widowhood in God’s Service (WinGS) event at the Henderson Church of Christ. Several couples work together to provide a good meal, wonderful entertainment and fellowship. People from denominations attend and it is an avenue of outreach. At a recent WinGS, eight Tribe members and one guest, whose son attends Estes, sat at one table. When we invited her to come to Estes on Sunday night because it was the first church wide event in the new Expansion, she came!

Another way in which we are able to do outreach is our home congregation has an international student “adoption” program where a family will be assigned a student, usually an athlete, who is far from home. The Tribe, as a group, has adopted two girls who are soccer players from Lesotho, Africa. We provide transportation, an occasional meal, and general support for ones so far from home. The main purpose is to provide a place for them to stay when the dorms are closed. The Tribe has two ladies (both of whom were elder’s wives for years) who agreed to keep both girls. They coordinate their schedules – sometimes swapping during the month-long Christmas break. We are able to show them the love of Jesus. 

Also, we have had a group projects, usually at Christmas, which have included: buying shirts for the boys at West Tennessee Children’s Home, helping a young single mother with bills, buying dentures for a sister who thought having teeth would help her get a job, and various other projects.

I have learned so much from observing my sisters in the Tribe. In this phase of life, it can be easy to become focused on oneself and what is happening in your own life. While there is a time and place for that, it is important to remember that there are others. There are others who can help you and be there for you. This group was created because a few people were intentional about reaching out to others and making connections with them. There are also others who are in need. Sometimes, we think that we need more time to ourselves or space from people, but really what we need is to be there for someone else, serving as our Lord Jesus served. 

Hopefully, this has been helpful and encouraging to you. Ministries can come from different people and different circumstances. 

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

 

About the author: Susan Edmonds was born in Shawnee, OK, and graduated from Henryetta, OK, HS. In 1977, she graduated from Harding University with a degree in Elementary Education and weeks later married her college sweetheart, Jim Edmonds, from Covington, TN, in Searcy, AR. Jim & Susan were members at Estes Church of Christ in Henderson, TN, where he was Education Director for over twenty years. Susan teaches Third Grade on Sunday mornings. From 1985-1992, Susan was a Regional Admissions Director at FHU. In 1992, Jim took a two year leave of absence from teaching Business Law at FHU and they moved to Bratislava, Czechoslovakia. In February, 1993, Mark & Dana Blackwelder joined the mission team there. Upon returning to the States in 1994, Susan became a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant, something that she continues very part time. In April, 2013, Jim passed away after an eighteen month battle with pancreatic cancer. At that point, Susan, along with two friends formed the nucleus of what would become The Tribe. Susan has two younger sisters – Kathleen (Rick) Straker in Cypress, TX, and Beth Cannon in Searcy, AR.