“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NASB 1995). Sometimes, it seems like this verse is so easy to read, yet so hard to do. Sometimes, it feels like our sins are just too bad to let go and put behind us. The thing is, we aren’t the only ones who have done big things wrong. In fact, the person who wrote these words, Paul, committed some pretty big sins himself. Think about it, he was present at and agreed with the stoning of Stephen (Acts 7:58, 8:1) and majorly persecuted the church (Acts 8:3). Yet somehow, he was able to move on. We have to learn to do the same.

So, what can we learn from Paul’s example? First, forgetting our past is a conscious choice. I don’t think it’s realistic to say that Paul ever lost the memory of his past mistakes. I mean, he calls himself the “foremost” of sinners in 1 Timothy 1:15. Yet, in Philippians 3, he says he forgets the past. The Greek word for “forget” in this verse, according to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, can mean to forget, but it also means “neglecting, no longer caring for.” This last meaning makes so much since in this context! Paul makes a conscious choice to “neglect” or “no longer care for” his past. We need to do the same. Holding onto the guilt and shame of our past mistakes doesn’t get us anywhere. If there is something we can do about it, great, but if not, we have to let go. Holding onto our mistakes isn’t healthy, and it can keep us from pressing toward the ultimate goal. 

Second, we have to do what God commands. When Saul (before he became Paul) was confronted on the road to Damascus, he didn’t just sit there. He got up and did what God commanded. For the rest of his life, Paul worked for the Lord and did His will, even when it was dangerous. As we fight to leave behind the guilt and shame of our past mistakes, we need something to fill the space in our lives that these things were occupying. What better to fill our lives with than the only things that really matter? 

Third, Paul didn’t shy away from doing big things. A lot of times, our guilt and shame make us feel inadequate, like we don’t deserve to have things, or be things. Paul didn’t wallow in his guilt. He didn’t say, “Sorry, God, after everything I’ve done, I don’t think I deserve to be an apostle.” He stepped up to the challenge. Talk about confidence, Paul on one occasion corrects Peter, the person who preached the first gospel sermon, and he’s not ashamed to talk about it.

“But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.” (Galatians 2:11). That’s pretty bold, but the correction needed to be made, and Paul wasn’t too held back by his past to do it. He wasn’t too held back by his past to write more books of the New Testament than any other individual. He wasn’t prevented by his shame from his missionary journeys. Because Paul didn’t allow his past to hold him back, but allowed God to use a repented sinner in need of grace, we have one of the key figures in the New Testament.

Finally, Paul wasn’t ever perfect, and we won’t be either. In Romans 7:14-25, we see Paul describe the struggle he has with sin. He doesn’t want to sin, but he does. Why? Because he is “of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.” He is human. So are we. When we repent of our sins, this doesn’t mean we are going to be perfect from that point on. We try, but we fail, and we are so thankful that “if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son continually cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7). 

In conclusion, if you’re struggling with guilt and shame because of your past mistakes, you are not alone. You’re not the only one who has done bad things, it just feels that way sometimes. Paul had to recover from sin, and he gives us a wonderful example. We have to choose to put the past behind us, fill our lives with Spiritual things, not back down from the big tasks God gives us, and realize that we aren’t perfect. God was able to do so many great things through Paul. Don’t shy away from the great things he can do through you.